Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this rapidly changing world, it is undoubtedly true that using as a entertinment of the technology applications are getting more common like use of cellphone and playing on it all the days. I believe that it has more drawbacks than its positive outcomes. As it effect on mental health and pysical growth of people. the this essay will further elaborate my reasons as same as my upcoming paragraphs, which will lead to a logical conclusion.
To commence with, there are adequate evidence of this view, which are sustainable. The top-notch concrete reason is by playing on virtual apps is more harmful for mental health as it effect on eyes and body. For example, If someone is involved in outside activites more than setting at house and using phone all the day. have a energetic body and it is noticed that physical game are always usefull. it boost stemina and natural growth of the body.
As a result, the usage of technology is lead human into stress instead of keep them fit and make them inteligent. However, if masses can know how to use the digital tools in good way then they also can learn alot of new things as they can play some mind game on it to devlop mind.
Furthermore, Although these days everyone is choosing innovation over old era. There are numerous way for get used to outdoor activities instead of paying for smartphone apps individuals can enjoy their day while spending time with friends and family rather than wasting time and money on useless applications. They should go for park to get some fresh air and stay healthy. Moreover, there are countless game and other app people are paying for entertenment for their daily life but they have many choice for enjoy their life without paying any cent to anybody.
To conclude, I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting that less usage of any technology is better for person and whole planet too people forget how to get togther now as they did before because human are more attchhed with digital things then each other. However contrary cannot overload either.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that mobile payment apps have more disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention mental health and physical growth, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, well-supported examples. The prompt asks about 'paying for things using mobile phone apps,' but your essay focuses heavily on 'playing games' and 'entertainment apps,' which is a slight misinterpretation of the core topic. To improve, ensure your arguments directly address the financial aspect of mobile payments (e.g., security, convenience, or overspending) rather than general screen time.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, the opening paragraph is disjointed, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes weak. While you use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'Furthermore,' they are occasionally used mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'the this essay will further elaborate,' which disrupts the flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'using as a entertinment of the technology applications' and 'lead human into stress.' You attempt to use some topic-related vocabulary, but the lack of precision makes it difficult to convey complex ideas effectively. Many words are misspelled, such as 'pysical,' 'stemina,' 'entertenment,' and 'attchhed.' To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and proofreading for basic spelling errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it effect on mental health'), sentence fragments (e.g., 'As it effect on mental health and pysical growth of people.'), and incorrect article usage. The range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and reviewing the rules for verb tenses and pluralisation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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