Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In today's rapidly changing digital world, paying through mobile phones have become the new traditional and convinient way of payments. Due to this people do not need to carry their physical cards around with them. According to my point of view this development has its own pros and cons.
Nowadays most of the everyday transcations are done electronically. A few years ago it took around a week or two to send money from one place to another in the same city. But with the advancement of technology the transfer of money takes place in a blink of the eye even between two continents. When people use to pay with cash, there was always a fear of theft and now with everything being transitioned to the advanced technology this fear has decreased anormously.
Although with this innovations to make the day to day financial exchanges easy, it has also become a potential threat. It has become a very easy target for cybercriminals. They can empty a person's life savings in just a click of the mouse. Even though the goverment and law enforcements are making darastic changes in controlling these types of cyber thefts the number of the unethical hackers kepps on increasing. To prevent this type of crimes, goverment should organize cyber awareness seminars for layman especially the older age group as they are mostly the attractive target.
Lastly, with the advancement of technology poeple should also be made aware of the potential threats possible in order to make the lifestyle convinent instead of fearful.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps. You clearly state your position in the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the speed of transactions and reduced theft as advantages, and cybercrime as a disadvantage, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the points raised, moving beyond general statements to more detailed explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Nowadays', and 'Lastly' to link ideas. However, the progression between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated. For instance, the transition between the benefits of speed and the risk of cybercrime is abrupt. Improving the use of referencing and ensuring that sentences flow more naturally into one another would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'electronic', 'cybercriminals', and 'unethical'. However, there are several spelling errors ('convinient', 'transcations', 'anormously', 'goverment', 'darastic', 'kepps', 'poeple') and some awkward collocations ('new traditional', 'attractive target'). These errors occasionally distract the reader. To achieve a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and using more precise, academic vocabulary. For example, instead of 'making drastic changes', you could use 'implementing robust security measures'. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary will also help.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('paying... have become', 'transfer... takes place', 'number... kepps') and incorrect verb forms ('When people use to pay'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing commas after introductory phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy.
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