Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
In recent years, mobile phone applications have transformed the way people conduct financial transactions. While some concerns exist regarding security and dependency on technology, I firmly believe that the advantages of mobile payments far outweigh their disadvantages.
The primary drawback of mobile payments centers on cybersecurity risks and digital exclusion. First,reliance on digital applications exposes users to potential data breaches, identity theft, and financial scams. If a smartphone is stolen or hacked, unauthorized individuals might gain access to linked bank accounts. Second, a compeltely cashless transition can isolate vulnerable demoghrahics, particularly the elderly or low-income communities who may lack smartphone access, relaible internet connectivity, or the necessary digital literacy to use these applications.
Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of mobile commerce area are far more profound, primarily due to unprecedented convenience and financial efficiency. For consumers, carrying a physical wallet containing cash and multiple plastic cards is no longer necessary, transactions can be completed in seconds with a simple tap or a quick scan of QR code. Futhermore, mobile payment systems streamline operations for businesses by reducing checkout times and lowering the administrative costs associated with handling physical cash. For example, in many developing countries, small-scale street vendors have experienced significant growth in sales because they can now accept instant electronic payments without needing expensive point-of-scale card terminals. Finally, these apps automatically log all transctions, helping users track habits with ease.
In conclusion, although mobile payment systems carry internet risks realted to technical security and social exclusion, their immense contributions to daily convenience, trasanctional speed, and business efficiency make them an overwhelmingly positve development. As security protocols improve, these digital payment applications will likely become ans even safer staple of modern global economies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
You have fully addressed all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps. Your position is clear from the introduction and is maintained consistently throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the points regarding cybersecurity risks and the benefits for small-scale vendors. You provided relevant examples, such as the mention of street vendors in developing countries, which adds depth to your argument. The response is well-structured and directly answers the prompt, demonstrating a strong ability to present a balanced view while ultimately taking a clear stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices effectively to link your points. For instance, the use of 'First,' 'Second,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' helps the reader navigate your argument smoothly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the drawbacks from the benefits. The flow between sentences is natural, and there is a clear sense of progression from the introduction to the conclusion. The use of referencing is generally accurate, ensuring that the relationships between ideas remain clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, such as 'cybersecurity risks,' 'digital exclusion,' 'unprecedented convenience,' and 'administrative costs.' While there are a few minor spelling errors (e.g., 'compeltely,' 'demoghrahics,' 'relaible,' 'transctions,' 'trasanctional,' 'positve'), these do not impede communication or affect the overall clarity of your argument. You show an ability to use topic-specific terminology effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure you proofread for these small slips, as they slightly detract from the otherwise professional tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You use a variety of complex sentence structures effectively, such as conditional clauses ('If a smartphone is stolen...') and concessive clauses ('Although mobile payment systems...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over grammar and punctuation is generally strong. There are a few minor slips, such as 'mobile commerce area are' (extra word) and 'internet risks realted to' (typo), but these are infrequent and do not cause any difficulty for the reader. Your command of grammar is sufficient to convey complex ideas clearly and accurately.
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