Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays is the world of Digitalization. Just at one click everything becomes so quick and easy. In all developed countries, mobiles phones are used for payments. I believe this Digitalization brings more of advantages as compare to disadvantages. This thing will be proved by some facts in the upcoming paragraphs.

There are number of advantages of using apps for paying for things. The first and foremost is easy access. This means that nowadays everybody has a mobile phones. People are able to do payments from anywhere in the world. They do not need access to cash or wait for someone to pay on behalf of them. As a result, less dependency and no need of paper money. Secondly, there is good record of transactions. For further explanation, people can easily make note of as to how much money is spend and what places. Consequently, there is good budget decisions.

On the flip side, The disadvantage which comes with this is Privacy gets hindered. This means there is lot of fraud cases which is quite becoming common these days. People phones get hacked and their bank account details gets leaked. As a result, their private information leakage gives them a lot of issues as their bank account gets empty.

In conclusion i want to say that, Although there is one disadvantage but still i believe that payments through mobile phones apps had made our lives very easy and comfortable. With just one click you can access everything in any part of the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'good record of transactions' is mentioned but not fully explored with a concrete example. The argument regarding privacy and fraud is relevant but remains quite general. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the overall development lacks the depth required for a higher score, as the arguments feel somewhat repetitive and brief.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'first and foremost', 'secondly', and 'on the flip side' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'This thing will be proved by some facts'. Additionally, some referencing is a bit vague, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used more naturally would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'easy', and 'things'. While you attempt some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'Digitalization', 'transactions', and 'privacy', there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'This thing will be proved' and 'privacy gets hindered'. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and precise terminology related to financial technology and security. Avoid repetitive sentence starters and try to incorporate a wider variety of descriptive adjectives and academic verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('mobiles phones are used', 'bank account details gets leaked', 'payments... had made') and article usage errors ('the world of Digitalization', 'number of advantages'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in capitalization and comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and refining your use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring they remain error-free will also help boost your score.

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