Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Payment thorough phone apps is becoming a common method in several countries. According to some people, it provides more benefits such as conveniency, safety and security. While other argued that it can be easily hacked and not a suitable option for elderly people. I believe, this development has resulted many benefits to the society that has overcome the disadvantages.

In terms of negative aspect, often people complained about the cyber crime related to mobile banking and payments apps. It is commonly seen and have happened with many people that one click on unknown email or text on phone has resulted in thousands of dollers lost which makes this system unsafe to use. Phishing, smishing are the easiet way to hack these apps. For instance, recenlty, one lady lost 80,000 dollers because of one single click on fraud text message which allowed hacker to access all apps in cellphone. Not only that but also, aged people find this applications difficult to use and often struggle at the purchase counter if any issue arised. Elderly people are more vulnerable to hacking as anyone can do fraud activities on their phone while helping them in this kind of situations.

On the other hand, this system has provided more benefits as it is practicle and handy to use while purchasing or travelling somewhere. The issues of looking for cash changes everytime and struggle to keep money safe has been eliminated by this option. Every transcation is easily trackable and can help to manage budget. Another promient reason is safety features such as face-locks and fingerprint locks make these apps more secure and hard to hack. The Ali pay of China is the biggest example of this, people of China use Alipay for everything, One single app can be use at all grocery stores, shopping malls, as well as on all public transport which makes life more easy and convenient.

In conclusion, it has few negative effects but the impact of positive effects can not be ignored. It provides more security, safety and conveniency that makes life easier and save planty of time in this busy lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, such as the discussion of security features and the example of Alipay in China. However, the development of the disadvantages is slightly less nuanced, relying on anecdotal evidence rather than broader societal analysis. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments for both sides are balanced in depth and that the examples provided are more universally applicable rather than relying on specific personal anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the opposing viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'In terms of', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are some instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is a bit repetitive. For example, the transition between the discussion of phishing and the challenges faced by the elderly could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific terminology like 'phishing', 'smishing', and 'cyber crime'. However, there are several spelling errors ('conveniency', 'dollers', 'practicle', 'transcation', 'promient', 'planty') and some awkward word choices ('resulted many benefits', 'one click... has resulted in thousands of dollers lost'). These errors occasionally distract the reader, although they do not impede overall communication. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic vocabulary and refining collocations to sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('people complained', 'this applications', 'any issue arised') and article usage. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'One single app can be use at all grocery stores'. While the writer demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More careful proofreading to address these recurring slips would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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