Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is irrefutably true that children are backbone of a country. A section of society believe that raising children in the countryside is better, while others think that cities provide more opportunities for the development of the children. I agree with the latter view. This essay will discuss both views with my opinion in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why living in the countryside have benefits for children. Firstly, rural areas are quieter and less polluted. This provides a healthy environment for the development of children. Secondly, countryside areas have big open space which can help them to boost their physical health. They can play any outdoor sport with their friends. For example, children in villages can ride bicycles, play different sports. Children can increase their bonding with their neighbours and family members because in villages mostly people live in joint families.
On the other hand, there are various advantages of living in cities for childen. The first and foremost one is that cities provides many opportunities to younsters such as good education, and cultural activities. These facilities allow children to develop different skills. Moreover, if children grow up in cities, it provides best opportunity them to learn different cultures because people are living in cities from different backgrounds. For instance, a child living in a city may attend music classes, join a swimming club and also can participate in various competetions. These experiencing can help to improve their confidence and prepare them for their future careers.
To conclude, although rural areas provide peaceful and pollution free environment to children, cities are better choice for raising children because cities provide many faclities such as good education and job opportunities to children after completing their education.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The candidate has failed to address the actual prompt provided in the instructions. The prompt asks whether paying with mobile phone apps has more advantages or more disadvantages. However, the candidate wrote an essay about whether it is better to raise children in the countryside or in cities, which is a completely different topic. This means the response is entirely off-topic. According to the IELTS band descriptors, an off-topic response fails to address the requirements of the task. Although the writer attempts to state a position and provides some development for the ideas presented, the complete mismatch with the given prompt prevents a passing score for this criterion, resulting in a band 3.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
Despite the severe content mismatch, the essay demonstrates basic organisational skills. The text is divided into standard paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitional phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used to signal the structure of the essay. However, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall logical progression is undermined by the irrelevance of the topic. Paragraphing is present and mostly appropriate for essay formatting. These structural attempts place the response at a band 5.0 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The candidate demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for discussing general topics like rural and urban living. Words and phrases such as 'environment', 'polluted', 'physical health', and 'cultural activities' are used appropriately. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'children are backbone of a country' (missing article), 'big open space' (should be plural 'spaces'), and spelling errors like 'competetions' and 'experiencing'. There is also occasional repetition of basic vocabulary. These limitations and errors reflect the band 5.0 descriptors, where the vocabulary is minimally adequate but features noticeable errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'cities provides many opportunities to younsters' (plural subject with singular verb, and spelling of youngsters), 'best opportunity them to learn', and 'pollution free environment' (missing hyphen). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but frequent grammatical slips cause some difficulty and distraction for the reader. This performance aligns with a band 5.0 for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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