Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary world, technology has became a key part of our daily life. It is commonly observed that people uses electronic devices to make a payment for their purchases. These advancements have much more positive sides than negative sides. The following paragraphs shall discuss the same.

To commence with an advantages, like paying online after a purchase, bill payments via mobile applications has made individual's life more simpler than before. Along with that, it is safe and simple to use. For an example, In past times, people has to carry their wallets along with them before leaving home, but nowadays taking mobile phone along, would be enough.

Furthermore, the money transactions from bank to bank , person to person has became more simpler than before. The applications such as Paypal, and Remitly could generate money transfers between different countries.

On the other side, the advancement could make an errors. Total dependence on the technology would not be a right way. Artificial Intelligence could be fruitful. However, it could consume our data and might share that information to an unauthorized person. For an instance, some people are too smart to hack the websites and applications which could share our confidential data to them.

In conclusion, the advancement has made our lifestyle straight forward and flexible. In this modern ear we must have to lean towards these technologies otherwise we will not able to walk along with the world. Although, some of its demerits could be managed by using end to end encrypted sites to prevent sharing unnecessary data. As per the discussion, advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of using mobile phone apps for payment, presenting a clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages. The writer attempts to cover both sides, mentioning convenience and transactions on one hand, and security risks on the other. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat superficial. For instance, the advantage regarding security and convenience is mentioned briefly without deep elaboration, and the disadvantage section mentions hacking and unauthorized data sharing in a slightly generalized manner. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments could be extended further with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is adequately addressed, fitting the criteria for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into logical paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other side'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To commence with an advantages' and 'the same' in the introduction. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, providing a coherent overall arrangement even though the logical progression is occasionally interrupted by minor mechanical phrasing and repetitive structures. This performance aligns well with Band 6.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts to use less common items such as 'contemporary world', 'advancements', and 'unauthorized person'. However, there are notable lexical errors and unnatural word choices throughout the text, such as 'modern ear' instead of 'era', 'straight forward' written as two words, and phrasing like 'making a payment for their purchases' which could be more concise. While the range is sufficient to communicate the main points successfully, these frequent lexical inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching a Band 7.0. Therefore, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional and modal structures like 'Total dependence on the technology would not be a right way' and 'otherwise we will not able to walk along with the world.' However, there are persistent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the essay. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('people uses', 'bill payments... has made', 'money transactions... has became'), missing articles ('an advantages', 'an errors'), and awkward phrasing ('we must have to lean'). While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the response from achieving a Band 6.5 or higher, making Band 5.5 the most fitting score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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