Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Payments made through mobile phones have become widely common in many parts of the world. Although this technology has brought a convenience to users, it is also exposed to multiple vulnerabilities which were never present in traditional payment systems. This essay will examine how this technology is beneficial, but bears more risk than its advantages.

Firstly, making payments through mobile phones have become very easy, and this has replaced the traditional method of keeping debit or credit cards, and bank notes. Moreover, this method of payment also strengthens the country's financial structure, as it discourage the use of black money. All financial transaction being routed in the system gets tracked by the country's central treasury bank, and in case of any crime, underlying transactions can be traced out easily.

While it helps to create a financial log of transactions and provide an ease of use, it is very sensitive to risks related to information technology. For example, cases of malwares, phishing attacks, and virus attacks are very commonly reported these days. Hackers find new ways of exploiting the existing structure and controls, find system vulnerabilities to exploit and get access to private confidential information saved in these wallets. Furthermore, the risk of theft is practically same as present in the traditional system. For instance, the risk of theft of the mobile phone is same as of theft of any physical debit or credit card. Furthermore, it creates a concentration risk, as users mainly save all of their cards information into one wallet only, therefore, if security is breached for a wallet then information related to all cards will be stolen.

In conclusion, as payments though mobiles are considered a validation towards the acceptance of new technology, and it provide ease of use for costumers, and provide financial log for law enforcement agencies, it is yet to be made free of risks. Currently its disadvantages weight more than its advantages because of its risk to exploitation through modern methods of IT related attacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps and clearly stating a position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. Ideas are adequately extended and supported, such as mentioning financial structures, black money, and cybersecurity risks like malware and phishing. However, some arguments, particularly in the conclusion regarding validation towards acceptance of new technology, are slightly repetitive and under-developed. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.5 to 7.0, and based on the clear development of ideas, a Band 7.0 is well justified.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay presents a clear overall progression with a logical introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side of the argument, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'While it helps', and 'Furthermore' are used to connect ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each main point separated into its own logical block. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional minor cohesion issues exist. This performance aligns comfortably with the Band 7.0 descriptors for logical organisation and clear progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using less common items and thematic terminology such as 'financial structure', 'central treasury bank', 'phishing attacks', 'vulnerabilities', and 'concentration risk'. There are occasional word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'payments made through mobile phones have become widely common' instead of 'increasingly common', and 'disadvantages weight more' instead of 'outweigh'. Despite these minor slips, the vocabulary allows for precision and communication is never impeded, fitting the Band 6.5 to 7.0 profile well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as conditional and relative clauses. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'making payments through mobile phones have become' (should be 'has become') and 'All financial transaction being routed' (should be 'transactions'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while errors persist, they rarely impede communication. This balance of complex structures and frequent minor errors is characteristic of a Band 6.5 performance.

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