Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In several societies, pupils are frequently told that they can acquire anything if they try hard enough. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this message.
One major advantage is that this thing motivated pupils to do hard work. For instance, if they are weak in subject, they focus more and give extra hours. Even if they failed in their week subject, they do not get upset. Because they believe that Hard work give success in future. Therefore, they do not waste their time on social media and other time waste activities. In additional, they are focusing on a aim.
On the other hand, a major disadvantage is that children believe in only hard work, but some times diligent do not matter. In many scenario luck, intelligence, decipline and telent are play vital role in life. For example, This is not even possible every student became a doctor, engineer and CEO. In addition, to become a doctor, you need hard work as well as money. because college fees are very expensive. For instance, my cousin was a top in higher secondary school and her dream was to become a doctor, but she could not afford the fees.
In conclusion, although this message is also several advantages of hard work and other side also have disadvantages is they ignore their ability. I believe that it is dependent on students. Some are not highly educated but today they are successful. Because of their talent and business skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response is heavily penalised right from the start because the student completely misunderstood the prompt, writing about whether children can achieve anything with hard work instead of discussing the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone payment apps. Furthermore, the length check confirms that the text is 1 words short of the 250-word minimum, which also impacts Task Achievement negatively. The position is unclear and confusingly argued, failing to address any part of the actual task question regarding digital payments. Ideas are limited and completely off-topic. According to the descriptors, this falls well short of a passing band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Despite the severe content irrelevance, the text maintains basic paragraphing, separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, logical organisation is severely hampered by inappropriate cohesive devices and referencing errors. Phrases like 'In additional' and 'other side also have disadvantages' demonstrate faulty and mechanical cohesion. While sentences are grouped into paragraphs, the progression of ideas is disjointed and confusing. Referencing is frequently unclear, making the flow difficult to follow. This aligns with Band 4 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. The student repeatedly uses words like 'pupils', 'hard work', and 'success'. There are noticeable lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'decipline' instead of discipline, 'telent' instead of talent, and 'time waste activities'. Word choice and collocations are unnatural, for instance, 'this thing motivated pupils to do hard work' or 'lucky, intelligence, decipline and telent are play vital role'. These errors and the restricted vocabulary strain the reader and reflect a Band 4 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is very low. Frequent errors occur in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and article placement, such as 'if they failed in their week subject', 'every student became a doctor', and 'my cousin was a top in higher secondary school'. Punctuation is also problematic in places with erratic spacing and incorrect capitalisation. These persistent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect the characteristics of Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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