Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most of nations making payments by the use of mobile phone applications is not uncommon, and this trend is increasing at a very tremendous rate. I believe that advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, there are several drawbacks of using online applications to pay bills. Firstly, by using the apps in the mobile phone can be a little risky because it can easily be accessed by someone. To elaborate, If an individual is using the phone, and he enters the password and someone overlooked it, if the person who saw the passcode, wants to do fraud, it is possible for him to do it. Therefore, it is more prone to fraudulent activity. Moreover, people start relying on online transactions too much that they do not carry cash or cards with them. As a result, during the emergency situations, where the phone is not accessible may be beacuse battery died or poor internt connection . In that case, they can face challenges.

There are various advantages of using cell phones for daily transactions. First and foremost, it is more convenient and faster which means if a person is not carrying the money or cards with him, still he can make the payment by using Zelle, Paypal and so on. Along with this, the payment get deposited instantly. Furthemore, by making online transactions, one can keep track on the payments by checking it in the banking apps. To exemplify, if I want to check a transaction, which was made 6 months back. It is possible to check in the mobile app, but if a cash payment was made it is hard to keep a track of it.

In conclusion, although there are cetrain drawbacks of using cellphone apps, I strong believe online payments are more useful and easier.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps and presents a clear position throughout. Your main ideas are extended and supported, such as when you explain the security risks of someone overlooking a passcode and illustrate the benefits of transaction history tracking with a personal example. However, your ideas tend to over-generalise slightly, reflecting characteristics of the band. To reach a higher level, you would need to fully develop your points with more sophisticated nuance and robust, universally applicable examples rather than relying heavily on general scenarios.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a clear overall logical organisation and progression throughout, fully meeting lower requirements while showing some elements of higher levels. You make use of appropriate cohesive devices to signal transitions between paragraphs, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'First and foremost'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with distinct sections for introduction, drawbacks, advantages, and conclusion. Nevertheless, referencing and cohesion are occasionally a bit mechanical or faulty, such as in the phrasing of transitional links between sentences. To achieve a higher band, you should ensure that cohesive devices are integrated more smoothly and flexibly without relying on repetitive formulas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary range is adequate for the task, successfully communicating your central arguments about mobile payment applications. You attempt less common vocabulary items, such as 'fraudulent activity', 'instantly', and 'transactions'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as writing 'In most of nations' instead of 'In most nations', 'at a very tremendous rate', 'keep track on the payments', and 'cetrain' instead of 'certain'. These errors reflect an adequate rather than a wide vocabulary range. To improve to the next band, you should expand your control of less common lexical items, refine your collocations, and eliminate spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, attempting structures like conditional clauses and relative pronouns. However, there are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and article usage that prevent you from reaching a higher band. Examples include awkward phrasing like 'by using the apps in the mobile phone can be a little risky', run-on conditional structures such as 'To elaborate, If an individual is using the phone, and he enters the password...', and subject-verb agreement or preposition issues like 'the payment get deposited'. These errors are noticeable and require the reader to occasionally puzzle over the exact meaning. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence construction, article usage, and eliminating recurrent structural slips.

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