Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's rapidly developing world, online payment has become very common, and it is an empowering and transformative solution for numerous problems. It offers significant benefits ranging from instant payment to lower cash dependency. While I acknowledge the merits of alternative viewpoints, I firmly believe that this approch would yiled long-term benefits for individuals and authorities as well.

First of all, the most compelling argument is that paying through online has profound impact on today' generation. This is undoubtdely true because people do not need to have cash all the time, while they can pay through applications. Consequently, people have track of their payments and sometimes they can control on their expenses when they see noticiable changes in their budget and usage. For example, paying through online applications have certain features to put the limits on payments, just becuase of that someone can easily manage their finance. It is therefore evident that this type of payment system plays an important role in money management.

Furthermore, another significant benefit is that governments can easily track transacations and would directly impact on tax collection and offensive activities. This stemps from the facts that cash payments has no records and majority of the criminals are mostly do payment through cash. As a result having more dependency on cash will give wings to offenders. For example, Some of african countries are mostly rely on cash transacation, just because of this reason there is higher crime rate. It is hard to track transaction for offensive activities. This proves that online payment system has fundamental advantages.

In conclusion, whilst having certian disadvantages like server and network issues, the merits of this approch cannot be overlooked. Hence, I agree with those who believe that it has more pros. It is therefore imperative that governments should encourage online payments systems and introduce comprehensive and transparent solution of this over dependency on cash

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe mobile payments bring more benefits, and the conclusion restates this view. You address the question with two relevant advantages—helping individuals monitor spending and enabling authorities to trace transactions—and give examples for both. The first point is reasonably explained through payment limits and budgeting. However, the claim that cash reliance causes higher crime in some African countries is broad and not sufficiently supported, so this idea is less convincing than the personal-finance argument. You briefly acknowledge server and network problems, but do not explain their effects or compare them with the benefits. More specific support and fuller treatment of this counterpoint would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate benefits, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and each body paragraph has a central focus. Some linking is mechanical, however, and repeated phrases such as “This proves” and “It is therefore evident” make the argument sound formulaic. Connections between claims and examples are not always clear; for instance, the assertion about crime rates does not establish that mobile payments reduce crime. The final recommendation also arrives abruptly. Use more varied referencing and explain the logical link between each example and its claim to strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “cash dependency,” “tax collection,” “transparency,” and “comprehensive solution.” This gives the response an appropriately academic tone in places. However, noticeable spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations reduce precision: “approch,” “yiled,” “undoubtdely,” and “transacations” are examples, while “paying through online” and “give wings to offenders” are unnatural in context. Some wording is also vague, such as “offensive activities,” where a more precise term is needed. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they limit the effectiveness of the vocabulary. Prioritise accurate spelling and natural collocations over using elaborate expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while,” and “that.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “people have track of their payments” has an incorrect article and structure, and “cash payments has no records” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “governments can easily track transacations and would directly impact,” the verb forms do not fit together, and “majority of the criminals are mostly do payment” is not grammatically controlled. Work on agreement, articles, and consistent verb forms, then proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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