Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A LOT OF NATIONS ARE BUYING THINGS IN USING CELLULER PHONE APPS IS WIDELY EXPANDING IN COMMON.

IN MY OPINION, I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT I HAS A LOT OF ADVANTAGES LIKE COMMUNICATING EASILY AND IT CAN USE IN BUSINESS BY MEANS OF ADVERTISING. EXAMPLE FACEBOOK AND GAMES.

FIRSTLY, ALMOST ALL OF THE PEOPLE NOW ARE USING INTERNET AS PART OF OUR DAILY LIFE. PEOPLE USING MOBILE PHONE APPS MY COMMUNICATING OUR LOVE ONES AND FRIENDS. FOR INSTANCE FACEBOOKS APPS. IT CAN REALLY HELP A LOT TO EVERYONE BT WATCHING NEWS AND CONTENTS AND IT CAN RELEASE A STRESS FOR OUR DAILY WORKS.

SECONDLY, GAMING APPS MANY PEOPLE NOW USING A GAMING APPS AS A PART OF THEIR RELAXITION DURING VACANT TIMES.AND A LOT OF KIDS NOW USING THIS APPS FOR THE PART OF THEIR GROWING UP BECAUSE SOME KIDS WILL LEARN SOME GOOD IDEA AND CAN BOAST THEIR MEMORY. SOMEHOW OVER USE OF MOBILE PHONE IS NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH FOR INSTANCE, THEY CANNOT SLEEP EARLY AND CAN CAUSE A PHYSICAL ILLNESS. IT IS ADVISIBLE FOR THE PARENTS TO GIVE AN EYE TO THEIR YOUNGSTER AND GIVE LIMIT OF USING INTERNET.

THEREFORE I CONCLUDE, THAT MOBOILE APPS CAN REALLY HELP US A LOT IN THIS TIME THAT INTERNET IS VERY WILL KNOWN IN OUR UNIVERSE. BUT WE NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL OF USING APPS IN OUR CELLULAR. ABSOLUTELY IT HAS MORE ADVANTAGES THAN DISADVANTAGES.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear overall view in the introduction and conclusion: mobile apps have “more advantages than disadvantages.” The response also gives several related points, including communication, access to news, relaxation and possible health effects. However, it does not adequately answer the specific question about paying for things through mobile phone apps. Most of the essay discusses social media and gaming rather than mobile payments, and the advantages of paying by phone are not explained. The examples are brief and the ideas are not sufficiently supported, so the task is addressed only minimally. The response is also 15 words below the required minimum. To improve, focus on payment-related benefits and drawbacks, explain each with a relevant example, and meet the minimum length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a concluding paragraph. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. Some progression is also present, as you move from communication to gaming and then mention health concerns. However, the links between these points and the question about mobile payments are unclear, and the second body paragraph combines several ideas without a clear sequence. Connectors such as “Therefore” signal a conclusion, but they cannot compensate for the weak development between sentences. Organise each body paragraph around one payment-related point, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to technology and everyday life, including “mobile phone apps,” “advertising,” “news,” “stress,” and “physical illness.” These words make parts of your meaning understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “buying things in using,” “release a stress,” and “give an eye to their youngster.” There are also spelling errors, including “celluler,” “relaxition,” and “moobile,” which reduce the accuracy of the writing. Some repeated general terms, especially “apps” and “using,” also limit precision. Build a more specific vocabulary for mobile payments, such as transactions, convenience, security and cashless payments, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can follow some of your main points. For example, “It is advisable for the parents to give an eye to their youngster” shows an attempt to express advice, while the sentence about overuse introduces a cause and effect. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed. Examples include “I strongly believe that I has,” “People using mobile phone apps my communicating,” and “Gaming apps many people now using.” Agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “a gaming apps” and the run-on around “vacant times.” Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences and checking agreement and articles; use a full stop or conjunction to separate each complete idea.

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