Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world, the use of techological devices has significantly increased. In many countries, people prefer to pay by cellphone application over the cash or card payment. The use of cellphone for a payment brings numerous disadvantages than advantages.

On the one hand, nowadyas shopping has become a flexible and convenient task for humans. Modern smart phones has several applications already installed, which help for shopping and billing. One of the advantages of using cellphone while shopping is people do not have to carry a purse with them because mostly all stores and shopping malls have advanced systems which accept payments via mobile apps. This allow individuals to shop stress free in heavily busy shopping areas, they do not have to worry about stealing a purse or any valuable personal belongings. Another major advantage of this development is easy transection of money into a bank account. International shopping is possible with the use of cell phones. For example, person can send any gifts or items to their loved ones who are living in foreign country by paying from their own phones.

On the other hand, technology has several drawbacks which is more than benefits. Firstly, payments by cell phones may not allow young kids or children to understand the cash transection at the store. They may not try to understand the calculation, this could make them weak at street shopping. Secondly, there could be chances of different online scams. Buyers have to share all the important information on the shopping website and scammers can advantage of it, they may trace all the confidencial details and get the money from customer's bank accont.

In concl

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view that mobile payments have more disadvantages, while also recognising convenience and international transfers as benefits. The examples about not carrying a purse and sending gifts abroad are relevant, but they are only briefly explained. The disadvantages are also limited: the point about children learning cash transactions is not fully connected to the wider effects of mobile payments, and the scam risk would be stronger with a specific explanation or example. The response therefore covers the task only partially, with ideas that need further development. Make your position explicit in a complete conclusion and explain why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Firstly.” These help readers follow the broad contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and several points are presented one after another without enough explanation to show how they support the main argument. The final paragraph is cut off at “In concl,” so the essay lacks a completed conclusion and a clear final synthesis. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Another” and “Secondly.” Develop each main point in a logical sequence and use a complete conclusion to reinforce your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “mobile apps,” “shopping malls,” “online scams,” and “personal belongings.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “international shopping” and “confidential details.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “techological,” “transection,” “confidencial,” and “accont” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, including “weak at street shopping” and “get the money from customer's bank account.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. A more precise range of terms for security risks and financial transactions would help express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “systems which accept payments via mobile apps” and a conditional structure in “scammers can advantage of it, they may trace…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “Modern smart phones has” and “This allow,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and “the use of cellphone for a payment,” where articles and number are not controlled. The sentence joining the scam claims with a comma also needs clearer punctuation or a conjunction. Practise checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and build complex sentences with one clear grammatical structure at a time.

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