Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This given topic is asking about " paying for mobile apps is common now a dyas " . The reason behind of it is mobile phones has become most modernized . Because of this advanced modernized era its essantial for mobile phones companies to attract more consumers by the way they are interested in . The main purpose of these companies is to get attention of parents for how they allow their children to use or get mobile phones regularly . So the companies makes deal with software companies for developing such apps which promote knowledge and healthy activities . Thats why they introduce such these apps which help them to improve their production and sales , on the other hand , it's also proof helpful for software companies to get money by every users . The reason of paying for such these apps is this which i given below .

So lets now discuss about this significant and dissignificant,

First advantages , the main benefit of paying for using such these apps is to help people to get to know world by unique way like sitting in your bedroom on your favorite sofa you can enhanced your knowledge and also you can get fitness by using some of applications which give asistance about fitness . Its also guide us about our diet to gain weight or losse of it.

Second disadvantages , The main reason which i think about to quit this is this that extremaly used of these applications becomes reason of weak vision . Also and other theory predict that by using some apps people gets addicted of it and they spend their money on such irrelevant applications which produce just violence ( games or live sport about some of illegal stuff ) . By becoming so modern and generates so much apps help to expand some of illegal activites which were too difficult for them in back days. But now by these apps people don't know where their actually money

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both benefits and drawbacks, mentioning learning and fitness on one side and vision problems, addiction, and spending on the other. However, the response does not clearly answer whether the advantages or disadvantages are greater. Much of the opening focuses on companies, parents, and app development rather than the task’s central issue of paying through mobile apps, so the response is only minimally focused on the question. Several points are also unclear or insufficiently explained, such as the claim that apps promote “knowledge and healthy activities” and the reference to illegal activities. State your position directly and support it with relevant examples about mobile-app payments, such as convenience, security, or overspending.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response, with an opening, a transition to advantages and disadvantages, and signposting such as “First advantages” and “Second disadvantages.” These markers show an effort to guide the reader. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently overall: the introduction moves from modern phones to companies and children without establishing a clear line of argument, and the body points shift abruptly between learning, fitness, eyesight, addiction, and illegal content. Some linking phrases, including “on the other hand,” do not clearly connect the ideas they introduce. The final sentence is incomplete, which leaves the discussion without a clear conclusion. Use focused paragraphs, develop one main point at a time, and finish by restating which side is stronger.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related and less common vocabulary, including “modernized,” “consumers,” “addicted,” and “illegal activities,” and the reader can identify the general areas you want to discuss. However, vocabulary is often basic, repetitive, or inaccurately chosen, and these problems sometimes strain understanding. Phrases such as “paying for using such these apps,” “get to know world by unique way,” and “proof helpful” are not natural collocations; “dissignificant” also does not express the intended contrast clearly. Spelling errors such as “essantial,” “asistance,” and “activites” further weaken precision. Build a more accurate set of expressions for digital payments and their effects, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to combine ideas in longer sentences, for example with “Because of this…” and “on the other hand,” but control of sentence structure is limited and errors are frequent. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “mobile phones has become” and “the companies makes,” while forms such as “people gets addicted” and “you can enhanced” are also inaccurate. Articles and sentence boundaries are often missing or misplaced, and the opening quotation and several comma-separated clauses make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The final clause, “where their actually money,” is unfinished and obscures the meaning. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, verb forms, and punctuation.

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