Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Advanced technology has become widely used nowadays, almost world-wide, and it has been integrated in our personal lives. This integration of technology has significantly changed the way of online shopping and payment methods. Therefore, a wide range of people are using their mobile banking apps for payments instead of traditional cash payment.

Utilization of online platforms has made the payment process extremely quick and easy. Additionally, the payer doesn't have to worry if he has enough cash in his wallet while shopping. For example, my wife and I installed the popular and widely used shopping apps to order food or any essential clothes, and these apps are connected to the banking platform. Therefore, the payment process is seamless and effortless, which makes the shopping process easy and peaceful without worrying about the available cash at the moment. Furthermore, online payments save the shopping time in case people choose to pay in cash. Therefore, mobile payment has several advantages.

On the other hand, one of the online payments drawbacks is the lack of reliability of all the time. For example, some applications may require authorization to the account details, such as credit card information, these information could be leaked or misused which may result in a cyber security hack.

That said, I strongly suggest to heavily rely on online payments after confirmation and checking the app authentication. Additionally, every user must ensure reading online reviews before downloading any application for online shopping. Moreover, users must periodically check their account balance after each payment

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by presenting benefits of mobile payments and acknowledging a security-related drawback, then indicating that you favour using them with precautions. The examples about ordering food and clothes and linking apps to banking make the convenience point relevant. However, the position is not fully consistent: the essay asks which side has more advantages or disadvantages, but the conclusion recommends relying on online payments only after checks rather than clearly weighing the two sides. The disadvantage is also briefly explained, while the advantages receive more attention; reliability and data security could be developed with a specific consequence or example. State your comparative judgement directly and support both sides sufficiently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a concluding recommendation. This makes the overall line of thought understandable. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, particularly through repeated use of “Therefore” and “Additionally,” and the final paragraph reads more like a list of safety recommendations than a conclusion comparing advantages and disadvantages. Some references are also unclear: “these information” does not clearly identify the information being discussed, and “That said” introduces advice without explicitly resolving the comparison. Use a wider range of linking methods, connect each example directly to its main point, and make the conclusion synthesise the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “mobile banking apps,” “traditional cash payment,” “authorization,” and “cyber security.” These choices help communicate the subject, and phrases such as “seamless and effortless” convey convenience. However, several expressions are awkward or imprecise, including “lack of reliability of all the time,” “shopping time in case people choose to pay in cash,” and “heavily rely on online payments.” Repetition of “payment,” “apps,” and “shopping” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, such as describing service outages or the risk of personal data being misused. This would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “which,” and “after,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “these information could be leaked” has a plural demonstrative with an uncountable noun and an incorrect verb form; “I strongly suggest to heavily rely” uses an unsuitable verb pattern; and “must ensure reading” needs a different construction. The final sentence also lacks a full stop. Review countable and uncountable nouns, verb patterns after “suggest” and “ensure,” and punctuation. More accurate control of these structures would make your complex sentences easier to follow.

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