Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Across different nations in the world, the method of payment has drastically revolutionised. From conventional payment system to now using a mobile phone or a cell phone. This change has seen no bounds after it was adepted by people of those countries. Such an advancement offers a wide range of advantages over its mere, insignificant drawbacks.

To commence, we first have to look at its streamlined approch addressing different vandors. Now people can simply use their phone's internal system to pay at their local coffee shop. In old time, people used to carry a big stack of cash into their pockets which were often scarced to get stolen. However, with increasing number of individuals relying on their phones which more secure than the old cash-carrying economy. Unlike 10 years ago, when people had to visit banks to withdraws cash over certain level. Now people simply use their phones to transfer to a beneficery or to a store without needing to visit a physical bank.

Not only how the payments are processed has changed but also the entire economy around has seen massive change as well. Now people living or residing in mountines or any other rural places do not have to worry about carrying or withdrawing cash from banks. They simply need to work and the money will be transcted directly into their accounts.With ongoing technological enhancements it is expected to go even higher.

In conclusion, seeing such advantages over disadvantages we can say that advantages outweigh the disadvantage by large distance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that mobile payments have more advantages, and the conclusion restates this view. You give relevant reasons, including convenience at shops, reduced need to carry cash, and access to payments for people in rural areas. These points address the question, but they are not all developed equally. The discussion of security is asserted rather than explained, and the rural-economy point is difficult to follow because it does not show clearly how app payments benefit residents or businesses. A specific example, such as paying a local supplier without travelling to a bank, would make this claim more convincing. To strengthen the response, explain each advantage and support it with a clear example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from convenience and security to wider economic effects, and phrases such as “To commence” and “In conclusion” help signal stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening fragment, “From conventional payment system to now using a mobile phone,” interrupts the introduction, while “Not only how the payments are processed has changed” makes the transition into the second body paragraph awkward. The relationship between the rural example and the preceding point also needs clearer explanation. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, then connect examples explicitly to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “streamlined,” “conventional,” “relying,” and “technological enhancements,” which helps communicate the general argument. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning harder to follow. Examples include “adepted” for “adopted,” “vandors” for “vendors,” “scarced” for “at risk,” and “transcted” for “transferred.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “offers a wide range of advantages over its mere, insignificant drawbacks” and “by large distance.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than elaborate wording. Proofread spelling carefully and learn common collocations for payments, such as “make a payment,” “transfer money,” and “withdraw cash.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast beginning “Unlike 10 years ago” and the clause “which were often…” This shows an attempt to vary sentence structure. Some grammatical errors remain, however, and occasionally make relationships between ideas unclear. “From conventional payment system to now using…” is a sentence fragment; “which more secure” needs a verb; and “people had to visit banks to withdraws cash” has an incorrect verb form. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “with increasing number” and “accounts.With.” Work on producing complete sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and separating sentences with appropriate punctuation. These corrections would make your argument easier to read.

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