Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, technology plays a crucial roll in all sectors. In many parts of the world payment through cellphone using various applications are very common to buy a product. In this essay I will discuss positives and negatives for this development and I think advantages outweigh then disadvantages.

The main demerit point for using online payment method is the cyber crime. In other words, it is quite easy for hackers to hack someones account and use their money. Therefore, fraud are become very common. For example, the number of cases for credit card fraud are increasing day by day.

On the other hand, it reduces the hazel to carry cash everywhere. In simple words, it is very convenient for the people to buy anything, anywhere if they have money in their account. In addition, online purchase are become very easy because of this development. For instance, currently online purchase by using various applications are growing so much as compared to physical purchase. Secondly, it also provides a great way to record daily spendings. To simplify, mobile apps provide a detail information about how much money they spent, at what time and where, therefore, it is easy to keep an eye on daily expense. To illustrate, I usually prefer to pay bills by cellphone application as it gives me details of my expenditure.

In conclusion, I firmly believe there are more positives then negatives. The cyber crime is only disadvantage for this development, however, it is very convenient and give option to record on daily spendings are the main advantages for this development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question and state a clear view in the introduction and conclusion: advantages outweigh disadvantages. The response gives a relevant disadvantage—cybercrime—and several benefits, including convenience and spending records, with examples such as your own use of a payment app. However, the ideas are not developed equally. The risk of fraud is supported mainly by a general claim about credit-card cases, while the benefits receive more explanation. Also, the comparison between app payments and physical purchases is asserted rather than clearly linked to why mobile payments are advantageous. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of fraud and develop each main point with a specific, relevant example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The reader can follow the main progression, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” help connect the sections. This shows sound organisation, with some flexibility in linking ideas. However, several transitions feel mechanical, particularly the repeated “In simple words,” “To simplify,” and “To illustrate.” The advantages paragraph also moves through convenience, online purchasing, and spending records without always making the relationship between points explicit. Use fewer formulaic markers and connect ideas through clearer references or cause-and-effect links to make the progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “cyber crime,” “hackers,” “fraud,” “convenient,” and “expenditure.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “record daily spendings.” However, noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors limit precision: “roll” is used for “role,” “hazel” for “hassle,” and “detail information” is not a natural combination. Phrases such as “very common to buy a product” and “the main demerit point” also sound awkward. Build a more accurate range of collocations for payments and security, and check spelling and word forms. This will help express familiar ideas more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional phrasing in “if they have money in their account” and a longer explanation of how apps record spending. The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur across the response. For example, “payment … are very common” has subject–verb disagreement, while “fraud are become” and “online purchase are become” use incorrect verb forms and agreement. There are also errors with articles and plurals, as in “a detail information,” and the conclusion’s “it is very convenient and give option” lacks consistent verb structure. Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and use accurate forms such as “has become” and “provides an option.”

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