Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undoubtedly, e-payment has become more popular among people due to advancement of tachnology in this contamporary era. Although this trend has some benefits, its detrimental effects cannot be overlooked which will be elaborated in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin with, there are some advantages of using mobile phone for payment. First and foremost, time saving is considered as biggest benefits of this phenonmenon. To explain it, with the assist of technology, people can easily pay thier bills such as electricity bill, water bill and many more which orevent them to stand in long quene. Due to it, they can not only save their time, but also they can save their energy and travelling cost. For instance, they can pay everthing just by clicking one button of screen that leads to save their a lot pf time which they can allocate on other tasks. Hence, it is enhancing as leaps and bounds to make individual's lives comfortable and easy.

On the flip side, it has some adverse effects on masse's lives. Initially, increasing cyber crime is one of the major issue of online services becuase people have to fill their all details like bank account, pin code and card detail which may give birth to severe mence. Nowadays, hackers withdrow their money by using their personal details as they have great skills to hack their data. Owing to it, ordinery people have to suffer a lot of problems. Morevoer, older citizens who do not have proper knowledge of technology, they cannot use it without others help which enable them to depand upon others. Therefore, it puts drastic impacts on people s lives.

In conclusion, despite it save time and money, its drewbacks cannot be ignored. It create more problems instead of benfits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: although mobile payments save time and money, you conclude that their drawbacks are greater. The examples of paying utility bills and the risks of hackers support relevant points. However, the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages: the discussion of older people’s dependence on others is brief, and the cybercrime point would benefit from a specific explanation of how app payments expose users to risk. Your conclusion repeats the position but does not draw together the main reasons. Develop each key idea with a clearer explanation or example, and make the comparison between the benefits and harms more explicit to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the flip side,” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise each stage. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some stronger control through paragraphing and a logical progression of points. However, several transitions feel formulaic, and links within sentences are occasionally awkward, as in “Hence, it is enhancing as leaps and bounds.” The conclusion also repeats the earlier contrast rather than synthesising it. Use fewer stock connectors and make the relationship between each claim, explanation, and example more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “cyber crime,” “detrimental effects,” “personal details,” and “adverse effects.” These choices show an effort to discuss both benefits and risks, but the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form, and collocation are noticeable. Examples include “tachnology,” “phenonmenon,” “severe mence,” and “drastic impacts”; some make the intended meaning less clear. Phrases such as “save their a lot of time” and “enhancing as leaps and bounds” are also unnatural. Build a reliable set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations carefully. Prefer precise, familiar wording over ambitious phrases that do not fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although this trend has some benefits…” and a cause-and-effect structure beginning “Owing to it.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “time saving is considered as biggest benefits” has problems with the article and singular/plural agreement, while “it has some adverse effects on masse's lives” does not form the possessive correctly. The sentence about older citizens—“who do not have proper knowledge of technology, they cannot use it”—also has an unclear relative-clause structure. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and review articles and agreement.

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