Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's evolving world, payment via mobile phones has become an increasingly noticeable trend. Although this development presents certain drawbacks, it also offers several potential benefits for individuals and society. In my opinion, the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages because of increased convenience.

One major advantage of paying through mobile apps is the uplilftment in covenience as almost every business is fostering online payments because it is substantially time-saving. This is mainly because cash transactions are time consuming and often presents potential risk of fake money bills. As a result, enormous amount of population prefer to use mobile apps for payments which they find beneficial and lucrative as they receive complementory cashbacks while paying through particular apps. For example, a 2025 research depicts the percentage of population using phones as payment methods has increased to 80% which is more than double compared to previous decade.

However, phone payments also presents certain drawbacks, particularly the vulnerabilty of security systems in the phones. Despite of abundant breakthroughs in tech, mobile phones are still one of the easiest prey to scammers. This is primarily because of insufficient strength of passwords chosen by individuals and them connecting to a corrupt public wifi service which can lead to theft of important information such as banking details. Moreover, relying solely on phones for transactions can be unfavourable in conditions of no internet connection. Nevertheless, I believe that this disadvantage is outweighed by the benefits because of the versatile caliber of mobile technology.

In conclusion, although online security should not be overlooked, I believe that the advantages of online payments outweigh its drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—advantages outweigh disadvantages—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both sides with relevant points: convenience, time savings and cashback benefits are balanced against security risks and lack of internet access. The examples about fake notes, public Wi-Fi and banking details help explain the drawbacks, while the reported rise in phone payments supports the benefits. This is a well-focused response with ideas extended and supported. To strengthen it further, develop the evidence and reasoning more precisely: the claim that “almost every business” is fostering online payments is broad, and the 2025 research figure is not identified or explained. A more specific example of how mobile payments save time, or a clearer link between cashback and the overall advantage, would make the support more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-part structure: introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposting such as “One major advantage,” “However,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” makes the relationship between points clear. You also maintain a consistent line of argument, returning to the view that benefits outweigh drawbacks. To make the organisation more polished, reduce reliance on explicit transition phrases and connect some ideas more naturally. For instance, the move from time savings to fake money and then cashback could be linked with a clearer explanation of how each supports the main advantage. The final sentence also repeats the position without adding a final implication; a concise synthesis of why convenience outweighs the risks would give the ending more force.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cash transactions,” “security systems,” “scammers,” “banking details” and “internet connection.” Some less common choices, such as “vulnerabilty” and “versatile caliber,” show an attempt to vary your expression, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural. There are also spelling errors in “uplilftment,” “covenience,” “complementory” and “vulnerabilty,” which are noticeable even though the meaning is generally clear. Phrases such as “enormous amount of population” and “easiest prey to scammers” are not natural collocations. Aim for precise, conventional wording rather than elevated-sounding expressions, and proofread spelling carefully. This would make your vocabulary more flexible and accurate without changing the clear meaning of your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in the opening (“Although this development presents…”) and cause-and-effect clauses such as “This is primarily because…”. Meaning remains clear, and several sentences are controlled. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “cash transactions … often presents,” the plural subject requires “present”; “phone payments also presents” has the same agreement issue. “Despite of” should be “Despite” or “In spite of,” and “an enormous amount of population” needs a more suitable article and noun construction. There are also awkward sentence patterns, such as “the percentage of population using phones as payment methods has increased to 80%,” which would benefit from clearer phrasing. Greater consistency in agreement, articles and preposition patterns would improve accuracy while preserving your range.

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