Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern world,growth in purchasing items through mobile phone applications in several countries, has become a topic of considerable debate.While some believe that it is convinient to use mobile apps for items purchases, others argue that it affects the businesses and economy at the local vendor level.In this essay I will be discussing both advantages and disadvantages and then give my opinion at the end.

One of the main advantage why purchasing items with cellphone in many countries has become more common is because now people don't need to carry their wallets with them when they are going out for shopping.This is because, technology has advanced so much in recent times that major stores in retail,groceries etc, also eateries are accepting cashless mobile app payments apart from the traditional cash and card purchases.Tech giants like Google,Samsung and Apple have introduced mobile wallets for their users, which allow people to add their debit or credit cards in the mobile wallet instead of carrying with them physically.For instance, you can buy your favourite movie ticket at the cineplex cashless just by tapping your mobile wallet on the wallet reader device at the ticket counter.Furthermore, there are also third party applications that allow the users to link their application wallet to their bank accounts to deposit or withdraw money as per their convinience.The ned user can then use these application accounts to make their day to day purchases.

However,Unfortunately,these cellphone app purchases came as some trouble to the vendors.the organisations that create these apps often don't charge any transaction fees from the end consumer but they levy around 1-5% of platform charge per purchase that happens at their store from the vendor.As a result, they face losses as they have to pay an amount to these organisations on the items original price.

To conclude, although mobile app purchases can cause some issues for the vendos.In my oenion, it is a very good initiative for public purchases an

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the topic by explaining a convenience benefit and a possible cost to vendors, and you give a clear preference in the conclusion: mobile payments are “a very good initiative.” The example of buying a movie ticket by tapping a phone helps illustrate the benefit. However, the task asks whether advantages or disadvantages are greater, and this comparison is not fully established: the conclusion is incomplete and does not explain why the convenience outweighs the vendor fees. The disadvantage is also narrowly focused on transaction charges, with little explanation of their wider effect on businesses or the economy. Develop both sides more evenly, then state and support your judgement explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “To conclude” make the main stages easy to follow. Within the advantage paragraph, the sequence from not carrying a wallet to mobile-wallet examples is generally logical. However, the introduction promises a discussion of both sides and an opinion, while the final paragraph does not complete that comparison. Some links are mechanical, and the long first body paragraph combines several points that could be separated or more clearly grouped. Use clearer topic sentences and connect the vendor-cost point directly to your final judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “mobile wallets,” “cashless,” “transaction fees,” and “platform charge,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a topic of considerable debate.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, for example “items purchases,” “the end user,” and “public purchases.” Spelling errors such as “convinient,” “convinience,” and “vendos” are noticeable, and repeated use of “mobile app” and “purchases” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “purchases made through apps,” “consumers,” and “local retailers,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “applications that allow the users to link…” and a conditional-style example beginning “For instance.” The main ideas are usually understandable, but errors in sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to affect fluency. For example, the opening sentence has misplaced commas and lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “One of the main advantage” has a singular/plural agreement error. The conclusion contains incomplete or faulty clauses, including “although mobile app purchases can cause some issues for the vendors.” Practise building complete sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and articles, and using commas and full stops to separate ideas.

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