Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Getting a charge for using mobile apps are so commen as globbly . it has saverals benifits and causes . Am discussing about these both sides . in upcoming peragraph .

First of all , I will discuss about the advantages of paid apps . Which comapany made a app , they spend alot of money to make and maintain them. For making more profit they carge extra money for use their apps , on the other side who paid the more moeny to these apps they also can use some extra benifit after paid. For example in Free-Fire whos paid the extra money for buy the paid gun skins they got more powerfull guns and thay can easily win the battle .

On the second hand , it has also has a causes . Some time companies gave a offers to the customers and the users are addicted to their paid featuars. After the some time they up their membership price . that also effect users mindset and the other side is it can be dangrous in child hands . For example , in india a child spend 2.3 million ruppess for buy the new skins in free fire and this child spend his family saving in that thing .

According to my experiance the paid using apps are only good if your using it for studing or getting knowladge , if you use this for fun so it is so bad for that.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic by discussing benefits and risks of paid app features, and the Free Fire examples are relevant. However, the task asks whether paying for things through mobile apps has more advantages or disadvantages; your response focuses mainly on paid apps and in-game purchases, so it only partially answers the broader question. Your final view—that paid apps are useful for study but bad for entertainment—does not clearly state which side has more advantages overall, and the reasons are only briefly explained. The response also falls five words short of the required minimum. To improve, state a direct overall position and develop it with relevant examples about mobile payments, such as convenience, security, or overspending.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader identify the main sections, and phrases such as “First of all” and “On the second hand” signal a change of point. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the sentence beginning “Which company made a app” is not smoothly connected to the point about paying, and the conclusion introduces study and entertainment without linking these ideas clearly to the earlier discussion. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or inaccurate. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to its point, and make the conclusion summarise the comparison and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “membership price,” “users,” “paid features,” and “family saving,” and the examples make your meaning generally understandable. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “paid” and “apps.” Frequent spelling errors such as “commen,” “benifits,” “featuars,” and “experiance” make the writing less clear and reduce accuracy. Some expressions are also unnatural, including “getting a charge for using mobile apps” and “spend the extra money for buy.” Build a more precise vocabulary for the actual topic, including terms such as “mobile payments,” “in-app purchases,” and “transaction fees,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, and the reader can usually follow the main ideas. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Getting a charge … are” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “Which company made a app” is an incomplete sentence. In “they spend alot of money to make and maintain them,” the tense and reference are unclear; “a child spend” also needs a correctly formed verb. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation before submitting.

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