Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In modern society, the use of technology has significantly increased. Many people prefer to pay their bills by mobile phone applications instead of paying by cash or cheques. I strongly believe that its advantages are more significant and otweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, one of the main benefits is covenience for shopping. Nowadays, people do online shopping more often rather than spending more time in physical shops. In that situation online payment systems would be a great option for easy and fast billing. For example, for the friends or families live abroad, it is easy for them to buy gifts for their loved ones who lives in a different country. In addition, this modern technology would help individuals in stress-free shopping. It is not mandetory to carry heavy purses while shopping. Moreover, cash-free shopping can also help buyers, because a calculation and a management of cash-flow is not a problem anymore for them. For instance, parents can allow their children for independent shopping without any stress of losing money or a theft.

On the other hand, this trend has also some diadvantages to consider. One of the drawbacks is online scams. For online payment, customers put all the confidential information on the shopping website, which could be acceceble to digital hackers and it leads to big financial frauds or scams. Moreover, children may not get a chance to learn the cash transections, which may create a problem in their practical life.

In conclusion, while the use cellphone apps has certain drwabacks such as poor cash mangement and scams, its benefits in terms of convenience and flexibility are more significant. Therefore, I believe that advantages of this technological advancement clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—advantages outweigh disadvantages—and is maintained in the conclusion. You address both sides and give relevant examples, including buying gifts for relatives abroad and the risk of financial scams. This meets the task well, while the clear stance and supporting examples show some of the qualities of a stronger response. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. For example, the point that children may not learn cash transactions is mentioned but its practical consequences are not developed, and the claim that cash-free shopping improves cash-flow management needs clearer explanation. Extend these points with a specific consequence or example, and explain more precisely how each benefit supports your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from convenience to security concerns is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument. This is a well-organised response, though some linking is mechanical and a few references are unclear. For instance, “In that situation” refers broadly to online shopping, while “this modern technology” could identify the payment apps more directly. The advantages paragraph also contains several separate points in quick succession. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports to make the flow more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “confidential information,” “digital hackers,” “financial frauds,” and “cash-free shopping.” These choices help communicate both the benefits and risks, and some topic-specific language is attempted. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural collocations limit the clarity and flexibility of the vocabulary. Examples include “covenience,” “diadvantages,” and “cash transections”; phrases such as “easy and fast billing” and “a calculation and a management of cash-flow” are also awkward. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise phrasing would make your ideas sound more natural without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which could be accessible to digital hackers” and a conditional example beginning “For instance, parents can allow their children…”. Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “the friends or families live abroad” needs a relative structure such as “friends or family members who live abroad,” while “their loved ones who lives” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening also has an unclear pronoun in “its advantages,” and “while the use cellphone apps” is missing a grammatical element. Review agreement, article use, and clause formation, then proofread each sentence for a complete and natural structure.

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