Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's world, a great number of countries have adopted the use of smartphones for everything, including the online payment. For some, it is convenient and flexible irrespective of time or location; whereas, others may consider it hard to tackle. In my view, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

One of biggest advantages of using mobile phones for paying for things is that how quick and efficient the transactions have become. Now, people can place an international order without worrying about the payment as they can pay through online apps, like MasterCard and UnionPay. In addition to convenience, online transactions can also save plenty of time, which otherwise would have lost while getting cash from a nearby ATM or a bank. For instance, millions of people can now pay their electricity bills or grocery bills from homes in a matter of minutes through online banking without the hustle of withdrawing money from banks.

That being said, some older generations are still not adapted to the cashless payment method despite it being super reliable. They prefer old ways of paying for things no matter how hard it might sound. The elderly also fear the online scams, which have become increasingly common nowadays. For these reasons, some individuals rely heavily on cash payments. But this alone cannot diminish the benefits of using mobile apps for online payments.

In conclusion, although the older generations are stuck to the ancient ways of paying for things; i.e, via cash, many youngsters find the usage of cellphones for any sort of transactions quite convenient. Therefore, I believe the advantages of using online apps for payments far outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you believe the advantages of app-based payments outweigh the disadvantages. You address both sides, supporting convenience with examples such as paying bills from home and explaining that some older people fear online scams. This is relevant and gives the response a sound basis. However, the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages, which are mainly presented as older people’s preference for cash and concern about scams. The discussion would be more complete if you explained the practical consequences of these concerns—for example, what happens when someone lacks digital access or encounters fraud—and then weighed them against the benefits. More specific support would also make the argument less general.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, the second paragraph develops benefits, the third considers drawbacks, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “In addition to convenience” and “That being said” help readers follow the shift between ideas. The main points are generally sequenced logically. At times, however, connections are a little mechanical or imprecise. For example, “For these reasons” refers to older people’s concerns, but the link between those concerns and reliance on cash could be explained more explicitly. The conclusion also repeats the contrast between older generations and youngsters rather than drawing together the main reasoning. Use clearer references and develop the relationship between each example and your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “transactions,” “international order,” “cashless payment method,” and “online scams.” These choices make the subject clear, and phrases such as “in a matter of minutes” help convey the convenience you describe. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural collocations that limit precision: “the online payment,” “hustle of withdrawing money,” and “stuck to the ancient ways” do not sound natural in this context. “Super reliable” is also informal for an IELTS essay, while “MasterCard and UnionPay” are payment networks rather than examples of apps. Aim for more precise, formal wording and check whether common word combinations fit the meaning you intend.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession clause (“although the older generations…”) and a relative clause (“which otherwise would have lost…”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the errors do not prevent understanding. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, however. For example, “One of biggest advantages” needs a determiner, and “is that how quick and efficient” combines two incompatible structures. In “which otherwise would have lost,” the passive construction is incomplete; the time “would otherwise have been lost” is needed. The opening sentence also uses “whereas” awkwardly after a semicolon. Review articles, clause construction, and passive forms, and proofread punctuation so that complex sentences remain controlled.

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