Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Technology has advanced in recent years and many payment applications have emerged as a result of the development in technology. In developed nation, paying through mobile phones have become very common, whereas people in developing countries are slowing adopting this nature. Cashless transactions have improved the safety and security in our society. There are some benefits and drawbacks associated with this development and I will outline them in this essay.

To begin, cashless transactions allow individuals to go for shopping without carrying any cash. It has been often observed that people who carried cash were very tensed in the past and this facility allow them to enjoy shopping without worrying about pickpocketing and other petty crimes. Mobile phones have been secured by password and face verification. Therefore, unknown individuals may not easily get access into any financial applications. These benefits attract people to pay bills by using cellphone applications.

On the other hand, although online applications are safe and secured, scammers always find a way to initiate a crime. They breach the security and access their private data. In some case, there are chances that individuals may lost their lifesaving and hard earned money within a second. However, these negative consequences can be eliminated by increasing awareness in our society. People should not share or leak their private information on internet. Governments and public authorities should raise the awareness in people by advertisement on media and circulating pamphlets.

To sum up, although there are negative sides of paying bills by phone, they can be mitigated through awareness. Overall, payment through digital devices are safe as application owners are continuously working to make their server secure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question by presenting both benefits and drawbacks, then making your view clear: the risks can be reduced through awareness, so mobile payments are ultimately safe. The discussion of convenience and reduced exposure to pickpocketing is relevant, and the scam example gives the opposing side a concrete concern. However, the position on which side is greater could be stated more directly in the introduction, and some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the claim that app owners continually improve security is not supported with an example or explanation, while the proposed awareness measures do not fully show how they prevent sophisticated fraud. Develop these points and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and responses, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help readers track the argument. The contrast between the two sides is also clear. At times, however, the linking is somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion mostly repeats the earlier claim rather than drawing the comparison together. Some references could be more precise: “this facility” refers to cashless payment, but the wording makes the connection slightly indirect. Use a wider range of natural transitions and connect each proposed solution more explicitly to the risk it addresses.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cashless transactions,” “pickpocketing,” “scammers,” “private data,” and “security.” These choices make the subject clear, and some less common terms are attempted. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural expressions that limit precision, such as “adopting this nature,” “tensed,” “initiate a crime,” and “raise the awareness in people.” “Safe and secured” is also repetitive, while “lifesaving and hard earned money” is an awkward combination. Aim for more natural collocations and check word forms; for instance, describe people as “adopting this practice” and say that scammers “commit fraud” or “exploit security weaknesses.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive clause in “although online applications are safe and secured” and a conditional structure in “if individuals may…” is not used, but the sentence patterns generally communicate the argument clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, though they rarely prevent understanding. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “paying through mobile phones have become” and “payment through digital devices are,” and verb-form errors in “this facility allow” and “individuals may lost.” There are also article and number issues in “In developed nation” and “In some case.” Review agreement, modal verb patterns, and singular/plural forms, then proofread each sentence for these recurring points.

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