Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays in many countries, paying for using mobile phone apps is increase day by day is common. There are many of advantages and disadvantages Now i will explain the advantages. There are many of advantages like online study and online skills. Nowadays youtube is most famous app most of the student pay for premium subscription because when student learning from youtube the add was not coming on the video it was very helpfull because when we focus on study and add decide our mind on other things and many other online study apps are helpfull for people. For example, when i am in 12 standed. In covid-19 all the school are close because of lockdown i was at home and all the study is online that time i pay for online study apps and it was very helpfull for me. Side by side There are many of disadvantages like gaming app like most of the people paying for online gaming and gaming apps in my own knowledge one game is very famous in the young age people name is pubg. people paying for the royel pass and also get gun skin and any other thing in pubg i think it was just wastage of money and also there is one more disadvantage like student are paying for online movie apps one of the popular app is netflix like are paying for subscription i thing this was just a way of wasting money and also wasting thier time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify both advantages and disadvantages and give relevant examples, particularly your experience studying online during the COVID-19 lockdown and the spending associated with PUBG and Netflix. However, the question asks whether mobile-app payments have more advantages or disadvantages, and you do not clearly state which side outweighs the other. Much of the discussion also shifts from the payment method itself to online study, gaming, and entertainment subscriptions, so the response only partially addresses the central comparison. The examples are brief and the reasons are not developed enough to establish a convincing position. The response is also three words below the required minimum. To strengthen it, state your view directly and explain how the convenience or risks of paying by phone compare in importance.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce the topic, discuss advantages, and then move to disadvantages using “Side by side.” The personal example also gives the reader some context. However, the writing is presented as one long paragraph, so the shift between the two sides is difficult to follow. Connections such as “There are many of advantages” are repeated, while “Now i will explain the advantages” announces a plan rather than developing the argument. Some ideas run together, especially the discussion of YouTube subscriptions and study. Use separate paragraphs for your position, advantages, and disadvantages, and connect each example explicitly to the question of paying through apps.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “premium subscription,” “online gaming,” “royel pass,” and “wastage of money.” These examples show an attempt to discuss specific services and spending. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “many of advantages,” “helpfull,” and “wasting money.” Some word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, such as “royel pass” and “the add was not coming.” Aim for more precise language about the payment method and its effects, rather than relying mainly on app names and repeated evaluations. Check spelling and learn natural collocations such as “pay for a subscription” and “spend money on in-app purchases.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to express reasons and examples, including a longer explanation of how advertisements affected your study, but sentence structures are limited and many sentences contain frequent grammatical errors that can make the reader work to understand them. For example, “paying for using mobile phone apps is increase” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “all the school are close” has problems with agreement and tense. The sentence beginning “because when student learning from youtube” also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, with several ideas joined into long sentences. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer ones using clear clauses, correct verb forms, and full stops.
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