Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Paying through cellphone apps (mobile pay as it is popularly called) as a form of payment has become increasingly common since the advent of the internet and whether we like it or not, has come to stay. Though it is a welcome invention, it does not come without it's own disadvantages. But I argue that even with whatever downsides it may have, it's benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

Mobile pay plays a major role in making the world a global village. Someone in the far side of West Africa can make payment for a product that is only availble in far East Asia. Trades that could not have been imagined possible in the 1800's are now being made in the 2000's because of the availablity of mobile pay. For instance, a Nigerian woman can make payment for a Cambodian wig she saw online and have it delivered to her. This is both beneficial to the producer and the consumer as the producer now has access to a wider market and the consumer now has a reduced limit on the variety of goods he/she can buy, in essence bridging the gap between the two worlds.

Mobile pay also helps in security. Paying for very expensive items would no longer require you carrying huge sums of money, exposing you to robbers and thieves. It even protects you from the inconvenience and stress of going to the bank and joining long queues just to cash cheques. For example, someone can buy a car without the risk of carrying bags filled with money or even having to go through the stress of qeueing in the bank and going through the difficult process of withdrawing his own money. He can easily do an online transfer as much as his daily transfer limit permits.

Yes, mobile pay comes with it's own problems, the most concerning being fake alets produced by fraudulent people used to defraud unsuspecting individuals and business people. but even with that, new counter measures are being brought up to help identify fake alerts and prevent online scamming of innocent individuals. In conclusion, paying through cellphone apps is a welcome development and should be appreciated more.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you accept that mobile payments have drawbacks but argue that their benefits outweigh them. You address both sides and support the advantages with relevant examples, including cross-border purchases and avoiding the risks of carrying cash. The discussion is generally extended, particularly in the examples of the Nigerian buyer and car purchase. However, the disadvantages are treated much more briefly: fake alerts are identified, but their consequences and the effectiveness or limits of countermeasures are not explained. Some claims, such as mobile pay making the world a “global village,” are broad. Develop the opposing case more fully and make the comparison between the benefits and risks more explicit in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs on advantages, a paragraph acknowledging a disadvantage, and a conclusion. The progression from wider access to goods, to security and convenience, is easy to follow, and examples generally sit in the relevant paragraphs. You also use linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Yes,” and “In conclusion.” At times, however, cohesion is somewhat mechanical, and some sentences carry several connected points, especially the long explanation of the Nigerian consumer and producer. The final paragraph introduces countermeasures but does not develop how they relate to the earlier concern. Use clearer internal transitions and divide or streamline long sentences so each paragraph’s main point and supporting explanation are more distinct.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “global village,” “wider market,” “daily transfer limit,” and “fraudulent people.” These choices help explain the benefits and risks, and the meaning remains clear despite occasional inaccuracies. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “reduced limit on the variety of goods,” “fake alets,” and “counter measures are being brought up.” There are also spelling errors, including “availble,” “availablity,” and “qeueing,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe consumers as having “a wider choice of products,” and say that “measures are being introduced” to detect fraudulent payment alerts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“Though it is a welcome invention…”) and conditional phrasing (“as much as his daily transfer limit permits”). Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems persist. In the opening, “whether we like it or not” is not clearly set off within the sentence, and “it's benefits” should use the possessive form “its.” The sentence beginning “This is both beneficial…” shifts from “the consumer” to “he/she,” making the reference less smooth. There are also inconsistent sentence openings and capitalization, such as “but even with that” after a full stop. Review possessives, pronoun reference, and sentence boundaries, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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