Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years ,technology is growing in wide range of areas . One of them is cell phones,nowadays people pay there bills with online application then paying through cards or cash.I believe this statement has both positive and negative effect of it.

To start with,I would say people in present days rely on mobile phones then any other things. They might forget to get there essential items for the day but never forget to get phone . Which means in case of emergency they will use phone to pay their payment.For instance, My friend dont carry her purse with her everysingle time when we go for shopping instead she does have a cell to pay her bills.To support this point , She believes carrying cell phones is having your wholw back in one gadget. To add with this ,I believe having a purse is to carry lot of unnecessary things with you, its just better to carry one mobile phone.

The negative point to this statement is ,in case you lost your cell phones and you don't have cash or card to pay bills what would you do in this case. Futhermore , with this point if a thief stole your mobile what would you do if your phone has all the important information of your back in it.They can use this critical information to misuse it.For example, in present how many dark web has our important information linked with your profile which can be used to get a bank details from there.

to conclude with this ,i know this point as both advantage and disadvantages but in the end people willxstill follow what makes there mind happty and will use cellphones to pay there bills as they will find this method easier than carrying a card or cash with them .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear personal view that mobile payments are convenient, while acknowledging risks if a phone is lost or stolen. The shopping example about your friend supports the convenience point, and the concern about banking information is relevant. However, the position is not fully clear: the introduction says there are both positive and negative effects, and the conclusion repeats this rather than deciding whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. Several ideas are also under-developed, particularly the claim that phones replace carrying “unnecessary things” and the reference to the dark web. Explain how likely or serious these risks are, and compare them with the benefits before reaching a definite judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on risks, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your ideas, and signposts such as “To start with” and “The negative point” help identify the two sides. However, some links feel mechanical or unclear, including repeated “To add with this” and “To support this point.” The long sentences in the final body paragraph also make the relationship between losing a phone, theft, and misuse of information harder to follow. Use clearer transitions and divide related points into shorter sentences. The conclusion should directly resolve the comparison raised by the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “emergency,” “essential items,” “critical information,” and “misuse,” so the main ideas can be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “pay their payment” and “pay their bills” recur where more precise expressions would help, while “your whole back in one gadget” does not clearly convey the intended meaning. There are also spelling errors such as “wholw,” “Futhermore,” and “happty,” which reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of terms for digital payments, convenience, and security, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional question such as “in case you lost your cell phones” and a relative clause in “information … which can be used.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “technology is growing in wide range,” “people … rely on mobile phones then any other things,” and “if you lost your cell phones and you don't have cash.” There are also sentence fragments, such as “Which means in case of emergency…,” and inconsistent punctuation and capitalisation. Practise accurate comparisons, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries; then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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