Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
- explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday
- describe some possible disadvantages
- say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ................. ,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
DEAR JACOB
MY FRIEND IS THINKING TO GOING CAMPING FOR EXPERINCE IN SUMMER FIRST TIME
HE SAID IT WOULD BE FUN.
AS FOR ME I AM AN EXPERT AT CAMPING
I KNOW WHICH ANIMAL HUNTS AT NIGHT
HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT WILD OR STAYING OUT OF TOWN
IAM HERE TO GUIDE HIM AND SHOW HIM HOW TO BE IN WILD TO KNOW THREAT IN THE WILD AND
THE STORY BEGINS NOW ..
WE WENT TO CAMPING AND ON FIRST DAY HE
WAS EXICTED AT NIGHT HE WAS FEELING NERVOUS BECAUSE OWL AND OTHER CREATURE MAKE NOICES AT NIGHT WE SLEPT PEACEFULLY.
ON THE NEXT DAY WE HUNTED A MOOSE AND FROM WALMART GOT A RIBEYE STEAK WE COKKED IT ATE OUR BREAKFAST WENT OUT TO ROAM FOR SOME FRESH AIR AND NIGHT FALLED WE QUICKLY CAME TO OUR CAMP AND NEXT DAY WE CAME TOUR HOMTOWN IN TOYATA
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AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses all three bullet points, but the development is quite weak. You explain why your friend would enjoy camping and mention disadvantages (nervousness due to noises), and you express your willingness to join. However, the narrative style is confusing and does not follow the conventions of a letter. The content is somewhat illogical, such as mentioning hunting a moose and buying a steak at Walmart in the same sentence. To improve, you should focus on providing more realistic and structured advice, ensuring the tone is appropriate for a letter to a friend, and expanding on your ideas with more clarity and relevance to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The letter lacks a clear structure. It is written in a disjointed manner with erratic paragraphing and capitalization. There is a lack of logical progression between ideas, and the use of cohesive devices is almost non-existent. The transition between the advice section and the narrative section is abrupt and confusing. To improve, you should use standard letter formatting (opening and closing), organize your points into distinct paragraphs for each bullet point, and use linking words (e.g., 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition') to connect your sentences and ideas more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'EXPERINCE', 'EXICTED', 'NOICES', 'COKKED', and 'HOMTOWN'. The word choice is often imprecise or inappropriate for the context, such as 'THE STORY BEGINS NOW'. You rely on a very limited range of words, which restricts your ability to convey your message clearly. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to travel and outdoor activities, and pay closer attention to the spelling of everyday words. Using a wider variety of descriptive adjectives would also enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammar is significantly flawed, which frequently impedes communication. There are persistent errors in sentence structure, such as 'MY FRIEND IS THINKING TO GOING CAMPING', and a lack of proper punctuation throughout the text. The use of capital letters for the entire body of the letter is inappropriate. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and even simple sentences often contain errors in tense or word order. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and correct punctuation. Practicing the use of simple and compound sentences accurately is a necessary first step.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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