Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
- explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday
- describe some possible disadvantages
- say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ................. ,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Dear Joy,
Joy how are you doing and am happy to hear from you, it's been a long time. Compliment of the season.
Joy i saw your messages and i believe you are preparing for the camp because you are going to enjoy it. It will be fun. Try so hard to visit each and every fun cities there. Visit the zoo and see all the animals and the lakes even the swimming pool.
Joy try to have enough capital (Money) with you so that you will not be stranded and be. confuse there. You have to book a hotel room.Remember you will feed yourself and pay for every fun place you have to enter for your entertainment...
Joy i would like to follow you but I don't have enough capacity and I'm having a health challenge.I pray to go with you in next trip.Thank you for your understanding. Remain blessed.
Yours Love,
Chika.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The letter responds to the situation and includes a reason camping may be enjoyable (“It will be fun”), possible drawbacks such as needing money and arranging accommodation, and a clear answer that you cannot join because of a health challenge. However, the advice is only partly relevant or explained: visiting “fun cities,” a zoo, lakes and a swimming pool sounds more like general holiday sightseeing than camping, and the disadvantages are presented as practical reminders rather than clearly described drawbacks of camping. The reason you think Joy would enjoy the experience is also very brief. Develop this by explaining specific benefits, such as spending time outdoors, and camping-related difficulties, such as insects or uncomfortable weather.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The reader can identify the main stages of the letter: greeting, advice, practical concerns, and your decision about joining. The closing is also appropriate for a friend. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and repeatedly beginning sentences with “Joy” makes the letter feel list-like rather than smoothly connected. Some points also shift abruptly—for example, from visiting attractions to booking a hotel and paying for entertainment—without explaining how these relate to a camping holiday. Group the enjoyment, disadvantages, and your availability into separate paragraphs, and use a few natural links such as “On the other hand” and “As for joining you” to make the progression clearer.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
You use basic vocabulary that communicates the general message, including “fun,” “animals,” “lakes,” “money,” and “health challenge.” There are also attempts to use more specific expressions, such as “stranded” and “capacity,” but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural in context. “Enough capital” is too formal and does not sound natural in a friendly letter; “enough money” would be clearer. “Fun cities” and “every fun place” are vague, while “capacity” does not clearly express why you cannot go. Build a more precise range around camping, using words such as “outdoors,” “campsite,” “equipment,” and “uncomfortable,” and choose collocations that fit the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response relies mainly on short, simple sentences, with limited evidence of varied sentence structures. Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors affect accuracy: “Joy how are you doing and am happy” is missing a subject, “i believe” needs a capital letter, and “you will not be stranded and be. confuse” has an incorrect verb form and punctuation. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent sentence boundaries, as in “room.Remember.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb forms, capitalisation, and punctuation. For example, “I hope you have enough money so that you do not get stranded” expresses the idea more accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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