Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter
- explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum
- describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful
- give details of when you would be available for work
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this day and age, while certain individuals believe that the authorities should give the first important to the hospitals, others feel that schooling is more vital priority to spend the citizen's tax money on. I assert that spending money on education is more vital as compared to healthcare.
On the one hand, a group of people have a belief that the government should spend more money on constructing the hospitals, so we can give a medical treatment to our citizens in a efficient way. To explain it further, nowadays, death ratio is inclining due to diseases such as cancer, heart attack, and high blood pressure. Thus, in order to tackle this problem, we need to focus on building a good health care system.
On the other hand, another group of individuals think that education should be on the top priroty to spend money on. Because, if more and more people will be educated then the chances of spreading diseases will be lower, as they will have the basic knowledge of biology and human body. To elaborate on it further, in countries like Japan, people are more healthy and living longer, as they have a access to free education. Thus, they are aware of how to prevent themselves from diseases. Secondly, education is also important to make doctors and other health care workers. Therefore, if we focus more on building educational institutes, we will be able to give country more physicians. That is why education is more important than healthcare.
In conclusion, although healthcare is an important pillar of a country, the value that education brings should not be underestimated, as it helps people to be more informative about their health and also help to make more and more doctors and nurses.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 1.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0
The response is completely off-topic. The task required a formal letter to a museum director applying for a volunteer position, covering specific points such as motivation, skills, and availability. Instead, the student wrote an essay discussing the allocation of government funds between healthcare and education. Because the response fails to address the prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in the context of the requested letter format. It does not meet any of the requirements of the task instructions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is structured as a standard academic essay with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. It uses cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'To elaborate on it further', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. While the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the internal logic and paragraphing are clear and follow a standard argumentative structure. The progression of ideas is logical within the context of the essay topic, though this does not compensate for the failure to address the actual task.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic of public spending. Phrases like 'tackle this problem', 'underestimated', and 'pillar of a country' show an adequate level of lexical control. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'give the first important' (should be 'priority') and 'death ratio is inclining' (should be 'rising' or 'increasing'). However, the vocabulary is generally appropriate for an academic essay, even though it is entirely misapplied to the task at hand.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'schooling is more vital priority' (missing article), 'have a access' (incorrect article), and 'give country more physicians' (missing article). While these errors are frequent, they do not generally impede the reader's understanding of the student's argument. The control of complex structures is inconsistent, but the overall grammatical range is sufficient for a mid-level band score, despite the complete irrelevance of the content to the assigned letter-writing task.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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