Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

not only sleep but also pattern of rest are play a vital role in human's well-being. Although some people believe that, recently, it is noticeable that concern in having healthy sleep is common complain by majority of individuals. Thus, this essay will discuss both impact of sleep deprivation as well as some solutions about getting proper sleep.

The first and foremost concern to not having proper sleep is poor focus and daytime sleepiness. To illustrate, owing to not having proper sleep, person working in construction department may feel less focused or in sleepiness in his work which leads to major injury since he is not using all the machinery properly, sometimes, the problem which is caused by one worker may be dangerous in may cases such as fire or water tank brakeage in construction side. In addition, long term effects such as heart disease, weight gain and obesity is caused by improper sleeping pattern. To elaborate, nowadays, people can not sleep enough by having excessive stress in their daily life which may become reasons for not only heart attack but also weight gain and obesity which might imbalance hormones level in body. Thus, long and short term effect is impact of improper sleep.

Nevertheless, some daily habits and routine can help in making balanced sleep such as reducing screen time before bed, watch diet, yoga and spending some time in sunlight. To explain, screen time which may be dangerous for eyes in dark leads stress that hampers sleep as well may becomes reason for weaking eyesight and dark circles. Moreover, diet and yoga is beneficial for improving quality sleep since balanced diet make digestion proper, eventually, leads healthy stomach and good sleep also yoga becomes best way to reduce stress and relief person's mind to clam. Consequently, even though yoga and balanced diet not major part of getting quality sleep, but it helps indirectly. Besides this, sunlight which may give energy to stay away from fatigue and clams person's mind, eventually, leads to good sleep.

In conclusion, poor focus and sleepiness is caused by sleep deprivation as well as it might leads to lot of heath concerns like weight changes, obesity and heart problems in long term. However, habits such as yoga and sunlight play a vital role to calm person's mind in order to get sleep. Apart from this, diet and screen time help in making digestion smooth and in reducing stress respectively. Hence, healthy habits are way to get better sleep.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the consequences of sleep deprivation and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of workplace safety and health issues like obesity. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the construction worker example is clear, other points, such as the link between sunlight and sleep, are less thoroughly explained. The position is clear throughout, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point is fully extended with more nuanced reasoning rather than listing several ideas briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'To illustrate,' 'In addition,' and 'Nevertheless.' However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the third paragraph regarding the connection between diet, yoga, and sleep. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be smoother to achieve a more natural, sophisticated flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sleep deprivation,' 'machinery,' and 'imbalance hormones.' However, there are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'water tank brakeage' (instead of 'bursting' or 'failure') and 'weaking eyesight.' The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the lack of precision and occasional errors in word formation prevent a higher score. Expanding the range of synonyms and focusing on natural collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the student attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('pattern of rest are play,' 'diet and yoga is beneficial') and article usage ('in construction side'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and comma splices. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor grammatical slips.

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