Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

problems: low fatigue and energy, difficulties to concentrate, mood swings, health issues for not allowing the body and mind to recover.

what can be done: sports, eat healthy, avoid using the phone right before sleep, read a book,

Sleeping is one of the most important things for all of us. But nowadays, a lot of people face major issues due to the fact that they do not get enough sleep. Sleeping is the process that the body initiates to recover and gain back energy. Sleeping is not only important for the body, but it is very crucial for the mind's health.

If we did deeper to find the root cause that many people lack sleep, we would find many causes. One of the many reasons is that people spend a lot of screen time on the phone or laptops, even right before sleep, which is very dangerous for the brain and keeps it alert right before sleep, when the human mind should actually not be exposed to screen light or some content on social media platforms.

To add, many people do not consider doing sports, even if walking daily for 20 minutes, as an important daily routine. Doing sports, even if only walking for a specific distance or time, allows the body to release the energy and train the muscles. As a result, people would have a clearer mind and would not have the sleep issue.

It is also worth mentioning that an unhealthy diet and eating food very often, affects a person's sleeping patterns. Lots of studies show that eating fatty and unhealthy meals before sleep, affects sleeping very badly.

It is very important to introduce sports to our daily lives in order to clear our minds and train our body. Nevertheless, having a healthy diet not only keeps our body healthy, but also keeps our minds healthy and allows it to rest. Additionally, avoiding the usage of mobiles and electronics right before sleep would be very crucial to eliminate the lack of sleep. Instead of using electronic devices right before sleep, one can read a book, which from my experience helps to be fast asleep.

I hope that my own knowledge and experience are helpful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the problems caused by lack of sleep and potential solutions. However, the development is uneven. While the solutions (exercise, diet, screen time) are well-supported, the section on the problems caused by lack of sleep is quite thin. The introduction lists several issues like 'low fatigue' and 'mood swings', but these are not expanded upon in the body paragraphs. The essay focuses heavily on solutions rather than the consequences of sleep deprivation. To reach a higher band, you should dedicate a full paragraph to explaining the specific impacts of sleep deprivation on health and cognitive function, rather than just listing them in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To add', 'As a result', and 'Nevertheless' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. For instance, the transition between the discussion of diet and the final summary could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different themes, which helps the reader follow your argument. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more naturally established.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'root cause', 'exposed', and 'eliminate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'low fatigue' is logically incorrect (fatigue is the feeling of tiredness, so you would have 'high fatigue' or 'feelings of fatigue'). Additionally, 'fast asleep' is a bit informal for this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Expanding your range to include more academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'If we did deeper' (should be 'dig deeper') and 'eating food very often, affects' (unnecessary comma). You also have some issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'difficulties to concentrate' (should be 'difficulty concentrating'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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