Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Having insomnia or small effects of it, is becoming common recently for many people in different age groups. Because of lack of sleep, diseases can enter in human body. One can consult a doctor firstly and then they can shape their daily schedule as suggested by the doctor or life coach.

Firstly, it can cause a numerous problems for our body in longer term. Such as thyroid, abnormal blood pressure and sugar, constipation, headache, muscle loss etc. As per the recent research published by prestigious York University, they gather primary data from students and their families by filling out questionnaires with sample size of 2000. And they found out that 90% of sample size have problems with sleep from teenagers to old age individuals. Also, most of them have one of above mention disease.

However, people can conquer this by consulting a doctor or a life coach or a fitness trainer. They can do blood reports suggested by a doctor and identify existing problems in their bodies. After that, they have to start some physical activities like gym, pilates, cardio, zumba, dance, walking, running, swimming etc. whatever they are comfortable with. For Instance, my elder sister was working in night shift for five years and by the time she developed insomnia. Her physical strength was shrinking and she developed thyroid and gain 15 kilo of weight. We consulted a doctor and she hired a personal fitness trainer. Also, she changed her job in morning shift as per doctor's recommendation because sleeping between 10 PM to 11 PM for 7 to 8 hours is necessary for human body. Now she is regularly going for swimming and taking fitness lessons and she is healthy now.

Lastly, We can overcome this , we just need to focus on our fitness and body demands.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the problems caused by lack of sleep and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, and the inclusion of a personal example regarding your sister adds depth to the argument. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The discussion on health problems is a list-like approach rather than a detailed explanation of the consequences. While the research study mentioned adds a sense of authority, the connection between the study and the specific health issues could be more clearly articulated. To improve, ensure that each point is fully explained with a clear logical link to the prompt, rather than just listing symptoms or activities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'However', and 'For Instance' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, the phrase 'one of above mention disease' lacks a smooth connection to the preceding sentence. The concluding paragraph is very brief and does not effectively summarise the main points of the essay. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'insomnia', 'prestigious', and 'recommendation'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'diseases can enter in human body' (should be 'affect the human body') and 'shrinking' (when referring to physical strength, 'declining' or 'deteriorating' is more appropriate). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'small effects of it'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated academic vocabulary would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in night shift' should be 'on the night shift'), subject-verb agreement ('she developed thyroid and gain 15 kilo'), and preposition usage. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors in sentence boundaries and comma usage. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, especially verb tenses and article usage, will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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