Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, sleep deprivation is the main issue among the individual. This essay will discuss the difficulties which causes deficiency of sleep.

The first and foremost cause of absence of sleep is stress. A person under physical and mental stress would not be able to calm my mind. Secondly, any sudden situation affects the sub-concious mind and it disturbs the person throughout the day, week or even months. Nextly, external pressure could be consider as another phenomenon for instance professional and personal life troubles. To exemplify, a person who has a tension of performing well in exam this hampers the mind moreover, it contributes to less or no sleep. Financial pressure could have been a vital factor for sleep deprivation

Simultaneously, there are certain remedies which assist to procure good sleep. Firstly, avoid using phone one or two hours before sleeping. Next, some yoga could be done to get proper sleep. Then, a 15-minute walk can also help in getting a good sleep. After that reading stories or novels which gives positive mind-set before bedtime could be the better idea. A healthy diet along with nutritional value helps a person to get proper sleep while stomachache would lead to sleeping issues. An active body physical work is the another factor factor to get good sleep. Research shows 8 hours sleep a day is required for the better lifestyle.

In conclusion, difficulties are the part of life. However, a person should limit himself / herself about the thought and try to avoid that. A good sleep is equal to healthier lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the problems caused by sleep deprivation and potential solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention stress and financial pressure, these points are not fully explored or supported with detailed examples. The solutions section is a list of suggestions rather than a cohesive argument. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly. For instance, instead of just listing 'yoga', explain how it helps reduce cortisol levels or promotes relaxation. The response is balanced, but the depth of analysis needs to be increased to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt, such as the jump from 'financial pressure' to 'simultaneously'. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'difficulties are the part of life' in the conclusion, which does not effectively summarise the preceding arguments. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'sleep deprivation', 'deficiency', and 'nutritional value'. However, there are instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'absence of sleep' instead of 'lack of sleep', and 'procure good sleep' (procure is usually used for goods, not sleep). There is also some repetition of the word 'sleep' and 'good sleep'. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider range of synonyms to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the main issue among the individual' (should be 'individuals'), 'causes deficiency' (should be 'cause a deficiency'), and 'could be consider' (should be 'could be considered'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'an active body physical work is the another factor factor'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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