Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era of hustle and bustle everyone is facing obstacles in getting enough sleep.In this essay we will describe reasons behind this growing issue. Also, we will discuss how we can overcome this problem.

To commence with, the primarily reason behind this is finacial stability. As everyone is running behind money people want to make more money to have a good life for that they work more number of hours.Due to which they do not take rest. In instance, a study was done in Canada which reveals that most of the students are facing sleep deprivation because they are working at two workplaces to manage their expense and college fees. The second cause of this notion is stress and depression. Most of the individuals are going through this when they get exhausted to manage either their personal lives or work life which make them to overthink every situation and that affects the quality of sleep. They are unable to rest as their mind keeps going.

Coming to its solutions, The first approach is to find a relevant job which help persons to earn a good income. To justify this, in America there is rule that no one can work more that 40 hours in a week which assist their citizens to have time for themselves. Secondly people should do exercise and yoga which help them to cope up with stress. Individuals should go for cousellings which guide them in their issues.

To summarise this, money and stress are fundamental cause of lack of sleep. To come out of this issue and for a healthy lifestyle people should focus on their physical well-being. Also, persons need to be active both physically and mentally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the question: it identifies financial pressures and stress as causes, then suggests finding suitable work, exercising, and seeking counselling. These ideas are relevant, and the examples about students working two jobs and limits on working hours help illustrate them. However, the task asks specifically what problems lack of sleep can cause, and this part is largely missing: the essay focuses on why people sleep poorly rather than the effects, such as reduced concentration, poorer health, or impaired performance. Some proposed solutions, particularly finding a relevant job, are also not clearly explained as ways to improve sleep. Addressing the consequences directly and developing the links between each solution and better sleep would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to causes, solutions, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader distinguish these sections, and signposts such as “Coming to its solutions” make the progression easy to follow. This coherent arrangement is a strength. However, some linking is mechanical or imprecise: “To commence with” and “To justify this” announce connections without always making the reasoning clear, while “To summarise this” introduces a conclusion that repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. The central shift from causes to solutions is clear, but the essay would progress more effectively if each paragraph focused on the exact question and used clearer links between claims and explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sleep deprivation,” “exhausted,” “overthink,” and “physical well-being,” so the meaning is generally understandable. It also attempts more formal expressions such as “fundamental cause” and “overcome this problem.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “financial stability” for financial pressure, “running behind money,” and “go for cousellings.” Spelling errors such as “finacial” and “cousellings” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases, including “this notion,” are vague in context. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling; for example, describe people as “working long hours to meet expenses” rather than “running behind money.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning “because” and “when,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to process. Examples include “the primarily reason,” “which make them,” and “no one can work more that 40 hours,” where word forms, agreement, or comparative structure are faulty. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: several sentences run together after full stops, as in “enough sleep.In this essay,” and commas are missing after introductory phrases. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and clause boundaries, then proofread for spaces and punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make the ideas easier to read.

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