Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, getting enough sleep is a major challenge for a large number of people. This essay will discuss the effects of sleep deprivation on human's health, and suggest some effective ways to address this issue.

One of the main problems that related to lack of sleep is concentration. People lose their focus and their brain starts to function less effectively when suffering from sleep loss. For example, there was a game show on Netflix keep the contestants awake for 24 hours, and then try to make them play games that depend on concentration; however, the contestants were suffering a lot in simple games because of their sleep deprivation. Furthermore, many immune system diseases were related mainly to insufficient sleep hours .

To address this issue, people should maintain fixed sleeping hours. Everyone needs to sleep at a reasonable hour, and not be overwhelmed by long working hours or stay up late for celebration for example. Nonetheless, people need to drink less caffeine because drinking too much coffee affects their sleeping quality and affect their nervous system negatively. Moreover, avoiding screentime before going to bed will definitely improve sleep quality. To illustrate, many scientists reported that using screens before going to bed will deprive individuals of having deep sleep.

In conclusion, Getting enough sleep in signifincantly important for mainting healthy life style and good well-being. Thus, people need to stayaway from screens before going to bed and having less coffee in their day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you identify reduced concentration and possible effects on the immune system, then suggest regular sleep hours, less caffeine, and avoiding screens. The examples about the game show and screen use help make the discussion relevant. However, the effects are not developed evenly: concentration is illustrated, while the immune-system point is only briefly asserted. The solutions also need clearer explanation of how they could be put into practice or why they work. The response is 8 words below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement; this limits the opportunity to develop and support your ideas fully. Expand the explanation and examples for both problems and remedies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on problems, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “To address this issue,” and “Moreover” make the progression easy to follow, and the reader can distinguish the two parts of the task. To make the organisation more effective, ensure each point is connected precisely to the next: “Nonetheless” does not clearly express the relationship between fixed sleeping hours and reducing caffeine. The conclusion also repeats the screen and coffee suggestions without drawing together the main effects and remedies. More precise transitions and a fuller synthesis would add flexibility to the cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “sleep deprivation,” “concentration,” “immune system,” “caffeine,” and “sleep quality.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and there is some attempt to use more specific language than basic everyday terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “immune system diseases were related mainly to insufficient sleep hours,” “stay up late for celebration,” and “mainting healthy life style.” Spelling errors in “signifincantly” and “stayaway” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully; for example, describe a “weakened immune system” and “celebrations” rather than using the less natural phrases in the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “when,” “because,” and “that,” and most of the message remains understandable. However, errors occur in several sentence patterns. For example, “One of the main problems that related” needs a finite verb (“that is related”), while “there was a game show … keep the contestants awake” has an incorrect verb form and an incomplete clause structure. In “drinking too much coffee affects … and affect,” the verbs do not agree, and “In conclusion, Getting” has incorrect capitalisation. Review verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction, then proofread punctuation and capital letters. Greater accuracy in these areas would make your varied sentences easier to read.

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