Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the upcoming years, many individuals will select their origin country for holiday rather than an international tours. I am agree on this sentiment because these people want peace and also they have seen online videos and photos of international places. In this essay I have mention in details about this statement.

Most of the individuals need a relaxed holiday and a peace full environment because of this reason these people want to stays in their country-side homes and avoiding foreign trips. Moreover, People spend less time with their families so, spending holiday time in own country also give benefit them to stays with the family. Beside this, to visit in origin country, people can meet old friends and relatives who is still lives in town.

However, technology take a huge place in this younger generation. People oftenly finds videos and photos about international famous places in their smartphones. After watching a photographs of international places destroy Curiosity of visiting place and people usually avoid to go on foreign places. For example, recently youtube publiced a data of most searched on youtube is "Foreign places and foods" nearly 3.5 billion people watched this videos but somewhere around 10,000 people actually visited these places.

In conclusion, most of the individuals want to be more relaxed on holiday rather than an international trip while, others do not have curiosity to visit new foreign places because they have been seen online photos and videos on the Internet and social media. These people likes to spending their time in the town where they can find old friends and relative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position, but the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention the desire for peace and the impact of technology, the arguments lack depth and specific, logical elaboration. For instance, the claim that watching videos 'destroys curiosity' is an interesting point but is not fully explored or supported by the provided example, which is confusingly presented. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that directly supports your thesis, providing more logical connections between your observations and your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Beside this' or 'After watching a photographs'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the link between YouTube statistics and the conclusion is unclear. Referencing is occasionally imprecise, making it difficult to track the subject matter. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks precision. You rely on basic terms like 'individuals', 'places', and 'holiday' throughout the text. There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'origin country' instead of 'home country' or 'domestic travel', and 'publiced a data' instead of 'published data'. Some phrases are awkward, such as 'take a huge place'. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to tourism and travel, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('relatives who is still lives'), article usage ('a photographs'), and tense consistency. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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