Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

look before holidays peoples tired in theirs daily routine such as wake up in morning . and then go theirs jobs etc many others responsibletes include . so when holidays come they all very excited beacuse they want take rest from daily routine i think peoples go to abroad for his holidays because when they go abroad . they saw many others objects such as games others type of peoples and they felt freeely and calm . and there minds are feels goods. when they spends his holidays in their own country i think they may not be more excited . in my opinion those peoples feels very calm and freely who spend their holidays in abroad .

now i tell you my routines in holidays . before the holidays started i book my plane ticket already. when my first day of holiday i wake up early and take my black cooffee for refresh my mind and then i borrow my suitcase and starts my journey last vaccations i go to south africa for 15 days . i enjoyed alot there . i carry one guaidan with me and starts journey i spend 7 days in african jungle between nature and all animals i book a hut which is located in this jungle but very safe place its was . beleive me my depression bag of from me . i meet their many types and many others relegion peoples . they gave me very respect i enjoyed alot .

sir its my experience and opinoin .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear preference for holidays abroad, especially in “in my opinion,” and your South Africa trip provides a relevant personal example. However, the prompt asks whether more people will choose domestic holidays in the future, while your response mainly explains why you personally prefer travelling abroad. It does not directly consider future trends or explain why people might choose—or avoid—holidays in their own country. The reasons offered, such as seeing different people and feeling calm, are relevant to travel but remain general and are not clearly linked to the question. To strengthen the response, state your position on the predicted trend and develop reasons that address it directly, supported by your experience.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence: you introduce your view, then describe a holiday experience in South Africa. This gives the response some overall direction, and phrases such as “now i tell you” signal a shift to the example. However, ideas are often joined in long strings with full stops or “and then,” so the relationships between points are not always clear. The opening repeats similar claims about feeling calm and excited, while the personal account moves quickly from booking a ticket to the jungle stay without clearly connecting each detail to your argument. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons, and example, and make each paragraph develop one main point with clearer linking and reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to holidays and travel, including “daily routine,” “plane ticket,” “journey,” “jungle,” and “animals.” These words help communicate the general topic and make the personal example identifiable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent inaccurate word choices or forms that make parts difficult to understand, such as “objects” for things to see and “my depression bag of from me” for describing how you felt. Spelling errors such as “vaccations” and “relegion” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of travel expressions and check collocations and spelling; for example, describe meeting local people or experiencing a different culture rather than using vague phrases such as “many others objects.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to express reasons and narrate past events, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning in places. For example, “when holidays come they all very excited” is missing a verb, and “when they spends his holidays” has problems with subject–verb agreement and pronoun reference. The account also shifts between present and past forms: “last vaccations i go” and “i spend 7 days” do not consistently mark a completed trip. Articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation are also often missing or inaccurate. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “because” and “although,” while checking tense consistency in the travel story.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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