Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram below illustrates the developing process for making sugar from sugar cane This diagram the sugar is produced from sugar cane. These are growing(12-18 months), harvesting, crushing, purifying juice, evaporator(juice becomes syrup), centrifuge(separates sugar crystals from syrup), drying and cooling.

Overall, this diagram the sugar is produced from sugar cane. The growing(12-18 months) the farmer are fertilizer in the yield. The harvesting is build up and that the crushing in sugar canes. The crush are the machine and the machine are full yield in the field. The purifying juice and limestone filter are build up in this diagram.

Looking at the details, the growing(12-18 months) and the fertilizers in this field. The harvesting are build and the machine are come in the yield the farmer are joy for the yield. The farmer are build in six months and that the water and fertilizers in this field. The crushing are sugar canes in the machine and provide the yield. On the other hand, the purifying juice and the limestone filter in this diagram. The evaporator(juice becomes syrup) and the heat are the wheat and the rice. The centrifuge(separates sugar crystals from syrup) in this diagram. The drying and cooling and sugar cane in this diagram.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the process as making sugar from sugar cane and list the main stages, including growing, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying. This shows some awareness of the diagram. However, the overview does not clearly summarise how the stages connect or explain the overall transformation from cane to sugar. Several details are unsupported or inaccurate: the diagram does not show fertiliser, a six-month growing period, or wheat and rice. The harvesting methods are mechanical and manual, but their role is not clearly reported. To improve, describe the sequence accurately and focus on the key changes at each stage, such as extracting juice, filtering it, turning it into syrup, and separating and drying sugar crystals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview, and a details section, and the stages are generally mentioned in process order. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated and connections between them are unclear. For example, the opening repeats that sugar is produced from sugar cane, and the overview returns to growing, harvesting, crushing, and purification without presenting a clear summary. The phrase “On the other hand” suggests a contrast, although the later stages are simply the next steps in the process. Use one concise overview followed by a logically ordered description, and connect stages with accurate sequencing expressions such as “next,” “after filtering,” and “finally.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses several relevant process terms from the diagram, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” and “centrifuge.” This gives the reader some access to the subject. However, vocabulary is often basic, repetitive, or inaccurately selected, which can strain understanding. Phrases such as “the farmer are fertilizer in the yield,” “the machine are full yield,” and “the heat are the wheat and the rice” do not communicate clear process information; “build up” is also repeatedly used where a process verb is needed. Aim for precise verbs and collocations, such as “the cane is harvested,” “the stalks are crushed,” and “the juice is filtered.” Avoid adding terms that are not shown in the diagram.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer descriptions, and the stage labels provide some basic sentence structure. However, grammatical control is weak and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “This diagram the sugar is produced,” which lacks a suitable verb construction, and “The harvesting are build,” where the subject–verb agreement and verb form are incorrect. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “The crushing are sugar canes in the machine and provide the yield.” Practise forming clear passive sentences suited to process descriptions, for example, “The cane is crushed to extract the juice.” Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and punctuation so each sentence expresses one complete step.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.