Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram below you shows the manufacturing process of sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting report the main features and make comparisons whear relevance

1: suger cane are crope by farmer and than they are growing in 12 to 18 month's.

2: if sugar cane are grow fully its time to Harvesting the process of Harvesting into two type of one is farmer cut by knife 🗡️ and second is My machine

3: After harvesting the suger cane this londed in tracks and go to the suger making factory they clean the sugar canes and after cleaning they crushing the sugar canes in crushed in machine and after crushing the canes make juices

4: And next atfer crushing suger cane to prepare juices they clean and filter the juice

5: the five step si that's evaporated the juices to give them heating

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the process as sugar production and report several early stages, including harvesting, crushing, filtering and heating the juice. However, the account is incomplete: it stops at evaporation and omits the syrup stage, centrifuging to separate sugar crystals, and drying and cooling. There is also no clear overview of the full process, and some details are inaccurate or unsupported—for example, the canes are not described as being cropped before they grow, and the diagram does not show them being transported by truck or cleaned before crushing. The response is also below the required 150 words, with 136 words counted (excluding nine copied prompt words). To improve, summarise the complete sequence and include a concise overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The numbered points give the reader a basic sense of sequence, and words such as “After” and “next” help connect some stages. However, the response does not develop into a clear, complete progression: it ends after the heating stage, and the numbered list is interrupted by a copied instruction rather than a useful overview. Several links are awkward or unclear, such as “After harvesting the suger cane this londed in tracks,” which makes the relationship between harvesting and the next stage difficult to follow. Organise the report into an introduction and overview followed by logically grouped stages, and use clear transitions such as “Once harvested” and “The resulting syrup is then…”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “filter,” “crushing,” and “evaporated,” so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the description unclear, including “suger,” “crope,” “tracks,” and “My machine.” Some expressions are imprecise for this diagram: “clean the sugar canes” is not shown, while “purify the juice” would describe the filtering stage more accurately. Use the labels in the diagram as a reliable vocabulary source, and choose precise process terms such as “mechanical harvester,” “limestone filter,” “syrup,” and “centrifuge.” Check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence using both simple statements and longer clauses, for example, “After harvesting the suger cane…” and “after crushing the canes…”. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is weak, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “suger cane are crope,” “if sugar cane are grow fully,” and “they crushing the sugar canes in crushed in machine.” These need correct agreement and verb forms, such as “the sugar cane is harvested” and “the canes are crushed in a machine.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention. Practise writing clear passive sentences, which are especially useful for describing manufacturing processes.

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