Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The diagram explained all the process of making sugar from suger cane in step by step.

Initialy we planted a suger field for 12 to 18 months then he have been growing up in these months. Afterwards we use machines or hand based for harvesting. Then we took up suger canes into a crushing machines to produce juice. Nextly we send all suger juice into purifying procces they could deeply clean the dirt into juice. After this juice can stored in metal shape object and burn heat in the bottom to became a syrup. Then the centrifuge machine took separates the sugar crystals into syrup. Finally we stored a sugar in metal object for drying and cooling. After that the suger is produced.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main sequence, from growing the cane for 12–18 months through harvesting, crushing, processing and final drying and cooling. However, the response gives only a brief account and does not clearly summarise the process as a whole in an overview. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: the juice is purified through a limestone filter, not simply cleaned of “dirt,” and the centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup rather than separating crystals “into syrup.” The final stage is drying and cooling the sugar, not storing it in a metal object. The response is also 27 words below the required minimum, which limits the detail you can provide. Include a clear overview and describe the key transformations more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The stages are presented in the correct general order, and sequencing words such as “Afterwards,” “Nextly,” “After this,” and “Finally” help the reader follow the process. This gives the response some organisation. However, it is written as one continuous paragraph, and the repeated use of simple time markers makes the progression mechanical. Some links between ideas are also unclear, particularly “Then we took up suger canes into a crushing machines” and “After that the suger is produced,” which does not clearly connect the final stage to the outcome. Group the stages into paragraphs and use clearer references to the material being processed, such as “the resulting juice” and “the crystals.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “juice,” “syrup,” “centrifuge,” and “drying and cooling,” so the reader can recognise the main stages. However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “hand based,” “metal shape object,” and “took separates.” Repeated misspellings of “sugar” and “process” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms from the diagram and natural collocations: for example, say that cane is “fed into a crusher,” juice “passes through a limestone filter,” and crystals are “separated from the syrup.” This would make the description clearer and more appropriate to a process report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response mainly uses simple clauses linked by sequencing words, with a few attempts to add purpose or process information. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. For example, “Initialy we planted a suger field” shifts into an inaccurate first-person account, while “Then we took up suger canes into a crushing machines” has problems with verb construction, articles and number agreement. “The centrifuge machine took separates” also combines incompatible verb forms. Use present simple passive forms suited to a process diagram, such as “The cane is crushed” and “The juice is heated,” and check subject–verb agreement, articles and singular/plural forms. More accurate sentence patterns would improve clarity.

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