Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is a circular process illustrates that the sugars between evaporator .

overall , firstly grow the sugar in field after that cutting the sugar and crushing with the help of machine . Therefore , the fourth step is purifying juice and evaporate that juice becomes syrup .

moreover ,the sixth step is that centrifuge to use separates sugar crystals from syrup . Another step that is dying and cooling for sugar . Hence , all process is complete to make the sugar .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the process as making sugar and mention several relevant stages, including growing, crushing, purifying, evaporation and centrifuging. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it omits harvesting methods, the limestone filter, and the final drying and cooling stage is miswritten as “dying and cooling.” The opening, “This is a circular process illustrates that the sugars between evaporator,” does not provide a clear overview, and the sequence is not fully or accurately reported. The response also contains 84 words, below the required 150, leaving too little space to select and describe the main features. To improve, give a clear overview and explain each stage in order, including how the juice becomes syrup and sugar crystals are separated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to follow the process sequence, moving from growing to crushing, purification, evaporation and centrifuging, and words such as “overall,” “moreover” and “Hence” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening is unclear and the stages are compressed into a few loosely connected sentences. “Therefore” does not clearly signal the relationship between the preceding and following information, while “Another step” gives little indication of where drying and cooling occur in the sequence. The response is also presented as one block rather than being organised into a clear introduction, overview and process description. Use paragraphing and simple, accurate sequencing expressions such as “Next” and “Finally” to make the order explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “crushing,” “purifying juice,” “evaporate,” “syrup” and “centrifuge,” which helps identify the subject. The range is nevertheless limited and several choices are inaccurate or unclear, sometimes making the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “the sugars between evaporator” does not express a clear relationship, and “dying and cooling” appears to be an incorrect word choice for the final stage. “Cutting the sugar” is also less precise than describing the harvesting of sugar cane. Aim to use the diagram’s specific terms accurately, such as “harvesting,” “limestone filter,” “sugar crystals” and “drying and cooling,” and vary basic verbs with suitable process language such as “passes through” or “is separated.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “the fourth step is purifying juice and evaporate that juice becomes syrup,” but the structures are often faulty and the intended relationships are unclear. The opening, “This is a circular process illustrates,” combines sentence patterns incorrectly, and “firstly grow the sugar in field” lacks accurate article use and a clear verb form. There are also problems with sentence boundaries, capitalization and spacing around punctuation, as seen in “overall , firstly” and “moreover ,the.” Most sentences therefore do not demonstrate reliable control, although the reader can recognise some stage names and the general topic. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a consistent present simple or passive form, such as “The juice is purified before it is heated.”

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