Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram illustrates the process of making of sugar from sugar can step by step. This manufacturing containg many stages.
Overall, the mamufacturing consist of seven sequential stages start with growing and harevesting while, passing from some other stages such as, crushing , filtering, heating and finally become proper sugar.
The process begines, with allowing sugar canes for 12 to 18 months to gain sufficient growth, Then it is harvesting carefuly through machines and hands. Subsequently, these harvested canes then crushes to make juice, latter on it ungoes the purification to properly fillter.
These filtered juice are then heating to evaporate the extra molecules and become syrup. After that, heated syrup go through another process to separate sugar crystals from sugar and finally dropp to a drying and cooling container, while then sugare is prepared.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the process as a sequence and include the key starting point, the 12–18-month growing period, and the final drying and cooling stage. The overview also names several central operations. However, some stages are described imprecisely: the diagram shows juice being purified through a limestone filter, then heated in an evaporator to become syrup, and a centrifuge separating sugar crystals from syrup. “Evaporate the extra molecules” and “separate sugar crystals from sugar” do not accurately explain these steps. The response is also below the required 150 words, so the process is not developed in enough detail. Add a clearer account of the equipment and what happens at each stage, while keeping the overview concise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the stages in sequence. Sequencing expressions such as “Overall,” “Subsequently,” and “After that” help the reader follow the process. However, some links are awkward or unclear, including “while, passing from some other stages” and “while then sugare is prepared.” The overview also lists stages in a compressed way, rather than clearly separating the initial, middle, and final parts of the process. Use straightforward transitions and make each sentence describe one or two connected stages. Clearer reference to the juice, syrup, and crystals would also improve continuity between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant process vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “purification,” “evaporate,” and “syrup,” and the reader can generally identify the stages being described. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, for example “mamufacturing,” “harevesting,” “fillter,” and “sugare.” Some combinations are also inaccurate or unnatural: “making of sugar from sugar can,” “gain sufficient growth,” and “proper sugar.” Choose precise terms from the diagram, such as “sugar cane,” “harvested,” “limestone filter,” and “sugar crystals.” A more accurate range of process verbs would help you describe the transformations without relying on vague phrases such as “go through another process.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall sequence remains understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “The process begines, with allowing sugar canes” has an incorrect verb pattern and punctuation, while “these harvested canes then crushes” has a subject–verb agreement error. “These filtered juice are then heating” also combines incorrect agreement with an incorrect verb form. Practise using consistent present simple passive forms for process descriptions, such as “the canes are crushed” and “the juice is heated.” Check sentence boundaries and avoid unnecessary commas after introductory phrases.
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