Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Tye diagram below illustrates the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane. The process contains seven steps .

overall, first step of making sugarcane is growing which contains 12 to 18 months and end up with drying and cooling it

it is apparent, from the diagram that from making sugar from sugar cane the first step is to growing of sugarcane,it contains 12 to 18 months to be properly grown then cut down it with the help of farmer or by tractor machine .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the process as sugar production and mentions the seven steps, the 12–18-month growing period, harvesting, and the final drying and cooling stage. However, it does not summarise the main stages: crushing, juice purification, evaporation, and centrifuging are all omitted, and there is no clear overview of how the cane is transformed into sugar. The description also repeats the growing stage rather than developing the process, and the harvesting methods are only partly reported. The response is substantially below the required length, which contributes to its very limited coverage. To improve, give a concise overview and describe each stage in sequence, including the key changes from cane to juice, syrup, crystals, and finished sugar.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins with an introduction, then gives an overview, followed by a further description of the opening stages. The sequence from growing to harvesting is understandable, and words such as “first” and “then” help signal order. However, the final paragraph largely repeats information already given, and the response stops before the process is followed through. The overview is not clearly separated from the stage-by-stage account, while punctuation and spacing issues make the progression less smooth. Organise the answer into a brief introduction and overview, followed by a chronological description of all stages, using clear links such as “after this” and “finally” without repeating points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant task vocabulary, including “manufacturing process,” “sugarcane,” “harvesting,” “tractor machine,” and “drying and cooling.” These terms show some awareness of the diagram’s subject, and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited, with “making” repeated several times, and some expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “first step of making sugarcane” and “cut down it.” The spelling “Tye” also distracts from the opening. Use more precise process vocabulary, for example “cultivated,” “harvested,” “crushed,” and “filtered,” and vary repeated general words. Check spelling and choose natural collocations when describing how materials move or change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and a longer sentence with a subordinate clause, as in “it contains 12 to 18 months to be properly grown then cut down it.” This shows an effort to express sequence and duration, but the sentence structure is often faulty and the range remains limited. Errors include “first step is to growing,” the unclear construction “it contains 12 to 18 months,” and missing or misplaced punctuation between clauses. The opening also has an unnecessary space before the full stop. These problems sometimes make the relationships between actions and timing difficult to follow. Practise accurate passive forms for process descriptions, such as “the cane is harvested,” and use shorter, correctly punctuated sentences before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.