Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATE THE PROCESS OF MANUFACTURING SUGAR FROM SUGAR CANE. IT IS QUITE EVIDENT THAT ITS BEGINING WITH FARMING SUGAR CANE THEN PROCESS WITH SEVERAL STAGES LIKE HARVESTING , CRUSHING ,FILTER THE JUICE, HEATING , SEPARATE CRYSTALS FROM SYRUP THEN SUGAR ARE READY FOR USE.
IT CAN BE SEEN THAT, FARMERS FARMING SUGAR CANE IN FARM GROWIMG PERIOD IS THAT 12 TO 18 MONTHS , AFTER 12 TO 18 MONTHS SUGAR CANES ARE READY FOR HARVESTING. NOWADAYS, TWO TYPES OF HARVESTING METHOD CAN USE BY FARMER , ONE OF USING TRACTOR HARVESTING AND MANUAL CUTTING BY LABOUR'S. MOREOVER, SUGAR CANES CONVERTED IN TO THE JUICE USING OF CRUSHING MECHANICS MACHINES, IT PURIFYING THROUGH OUT LIMESTONE FILTER. FURTHERMORE, PURIFYING JUICE PUT IN TO THE EVAPORATOE FOR MAKING SYRUP, SO WE NEED TO CRYSTAL FROM SYRUP HENCE CENTRIFUGE CAN SEPARATES SUGAR CRYSTAL FROM SYRUP. THIS SUGAR CRYSTAL STORE IN DRUM DUE TO DRYING AND COOLING.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview of the sugar manufacturing process from sugar cane, detailing several stages such as farming, harvesting, and processing. However, some information seems incomplete or lacks clarity, for instance, stating 'sugar are ready for use' without elaboration. The response would benefit from more detail in certain areas and a structured comparison of stages or methods described. Overall, the response meets the task requirements but could provide more comprehensive coverage of features. Overall Task Achievement Score: 6.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The coherence of the response is evident in the logical progression from farming to the final product. However, there are some issues with cohesion, such as the occasional use of conjunctions that disrupt the sentence flow. Sentences vary in length, which can affect readability. For example, combining sentences about harvesting methods would enhance clarity. Additionally, the lack of flexible linking words, like 'first', 'next', or 'finally', affects the cohesiveness of the description. Overall Coherence and Cohesion Score: 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used in the response demonstrates a general understanding of the topic but lacks precision and variety. Phrases like 'sugar are ready for use' are awkward, while 'that is 12 to 18 months' can be expressed more accurately. Additionally, terms like 'converting' and 'purifying' could be replaced with more technical alternatives, reflecting higher lexical proficiency. Such vocabulary choices can enhance the overall quality of the response. Overall Lexical Resource Score: 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The grammatical range and accuracy of the writing show a mix of simple and complex structures, but frequent errors undermine clarity. For instance, subject-verb agreement issues are evident in 'sugar are ready,' and various sentence fragments can confuse the reader. In addition, several spelling errors, such as 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', detract from the overall quality. Better proofreading and attention to grammatical accuracy could improve this aspect significantly. Overall Grammatical Range and Accuracy Score: 5.
Overall feedback
Your writing covers the main stages of sugar production effectively, demonstrating an understanding of the process. However, it's important to enhance the structure of your response by including clearer transitions between sections and improving the specificity of your vocabulary to reflect academic tone. Additionally, work on correcting grammatical errors and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement. Focusing on these areas will strengthen your writing and help achieve a higher band score. Aim for more variety in your sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase your language proficiency better.
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