Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The diagram illustrate the production of sugar from sugar cane.

overall, the sugar production is a linear ,seven stages process that begins with cultivation of sugar cane and ends with drying and cooling of sugar crytals. The most time consuming process is growing of sugar cane which takes between 12 and18 months. While other process includes harvesting , crushing, purifying, evaporating, drying and cooling the sugar crystals.

initially, the sugar cane is cultivated forv 12-18 months until it reaches its maturity.once fully grown, the crop is harvested either, manually with workers cutting the stalk with hands or mechanically using harvesting machines. The harvested sugar cane is then transferred to crushing machine ,where it is pressed to extract the juice.

In this stage the extracted juice is purified by using lime stone filter paper to remove impurities. then the purified liquid is heated in a evaporator where excess of water is removed and the juice is concentrated into a thick syrup. This syrup is subsequentally transferred into a spinner to centrifuge the liquid which helps to seprate the sugar crystals from syrup.

Finally, the sugar crystals is transferred to drying and cooling process ,the luxury sugar crystals is produced.

..........................................................................................................................INALLY -inally the sugar crystals

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all stages of the process, from cultivation to the final product. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the duration of the growth phase and the various mechanical and chemical stages. However, the overview is slightly cluttered with specific details like the 12-18 month timeframe, which is better suited for the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview focuses on the most significant trends or the overall nature of the process (e.g., a multi-stage industrial cycle) rather than listing individual steps. The inclusion of irrelevant text at the end of the response is a minor distraction but does not detract from the overall successful coverage of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized, moving chronologically through the production stages. You use some cohesive devices such as 'initially', 'once', 'then', and 'finally' to guide the reader. However, the paragraphing is inconsistent; the introduction and overview are merged, and the final paragraph is fragmented by unnecessary repetition and trailing text. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose and avoid mechanical repetition of words or phrases. The flow between sentences is generally clear, but the structure could be more refined with better paragraph breaks to separate the distinct phases of the manufacturing process.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cultivated', 'harvested', 'purified', and 'centrifuge'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'crytals', 'subsequentally', and 'seprate', which are noticeable but do not impede communication. The phrase 'luxury sugar crystals' is an inappropriate word choice in this context, as it does not accurately describe the industrial product. To improve, focus on using more precise technical collocations and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate minor spelling slips that detract from the professional tone of an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'While other process includes...' and 'The harvested sugar cane is then transferred to crushing machine, where it is pressed...'. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The diagram illustrate', 'the sugar crystals is transferred') and missing articles ('to crushing machine'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and the trailing text at the end. While these errors are frequent, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the process. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar and proofreading for punctuation would significantly improve your score.

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