Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE diagram below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar can.

first of all, growing sugar cans in 12 to 18 month and than start the harvesting in a machine and people cut the can and than sugar can in enter the crushing machine and take a sugar can juice. the purifying juice in limestone filter because put down the big peaces in jar. after that start a evaporation in heat and that centrifuge the last process in drying and cooling.

However, start the procedure in sugar can growing in field like 12 to 18 month alot of care in sugar can. and than start a cutting and harvesting in machine and cutting a people in machete. after starting processing in crashing a sugar can machine and put out juice in machine. 4 step in enter the limestone filter in purifying juice and than evaporate and heat the juice because juice in syrup. second last step centrifuge because the separates sugar crystals from syrup and step in enter the drum snd drying cooling in sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response attempts to describe the sugar manufacturing process but fails to provide a clear, logical summary. While the main stages are mentioned, the information is presented in a repetitive and disorganized manner, with the same steps described twice in different paragraphs. The response lacks an overview of the process and fails to clearly highlight the key stages or the flow of the diagram. The inclusion of irrelevant personal commentary or repetitive phrasing prevents a clear summary of the information. To improve, you should focus on presenting the stages in a single, logical sequence without repeating information, and ensure you provide a clear overview of the process at the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response lacks a clear logical progression. The text is divided into two paragraphs, but both paragraphs essentially cover the same ground, leading to significant repetition. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and often incorrect way, such as the repetitive use of 'and than' and 'after that'. There is no clear transition between the stages of the process, and the lack of paragraphing logic makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each stage of the process is mentioned only once in a logical, chronological order.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'machine', 'juice', and 'sugar'. There are frequent errors in word choice and form, such as 'crashing' instead of 'crushing' and 'peaces' instead of 'pieces'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe a technical process with precision. To improve, you should learn specific terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'extraction', 'filtration', 'evaporation', and 'crystallization', and focus on using more precise verbs to describe the actions shown in the diagram.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('diagram below show'), incorrect verb tenses, and fragmented sentences. The sentence structure is simplistic, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many run-on sentences and missing articles. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the use of passive voice, which is essential for describing processes in academic writing.

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