Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Firstly, sugar canes are growing period is 12 to 18 months then farmer harvesting the sugar canes by their hand and mechainecally load all the canes.

Secondly,they collect all the canes for crushing by this methods sugar canes turn in to juice and separate the bark. Next, they send this juice to purifying machine to purifying juice ,in this machine has limestone filler which remove impuities .

Thirdly , all the purifying juice sent to the evaporator to turning the juice to syrup .Moreover, after this process all the syrup moving into the next machine ,which is centrifuge by this machine sugar crystals become separated from syrup.

Finally, the last stage of preparing sugar is drying and cooling process ,where sugar crystals drying for turning sugar crystal to sugar .

Overall,this manufacturing system is well-organised and every step is important for making sugar from sugar canes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all stages of the process, from the growth of the sugar cane to the final cooling stage. However, the description is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear overview of the process as a whole. While the main features are identified, the response would benefit from a more analytical approach, such as grouping the stages into logical phases (e.g., preparation, extraction, and refinement). The final sentence attempts an overview, but it is quite generic. To improve, ensure that the summary highlights the transformation of the raw material into the final product more effectively, rather than simply listing the steps in a chronological sequence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Next', and 'Finally' to sequence the information. While this creates a logical flow, the use of these markers is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. Paragraphing is present, but the structure is quite fragmented, with some sentences feeling disconnected. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus, as the current structure feels like a list of steps rather than a cohesive report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to follow the process. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'sugar canes are growing period' and 'mechainecally load'. The repetition of 'sugar canes' and 'machine' suggests a limited range of vocabulary. To improve, try to use more precise terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'harvested', 'extracted', 'purified', and 'crystallised'. Expanding your range of verbs and nouns will help you describe the process with greater precision and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'sugar canes are growing period is 12 to 18 months' is grammatically incorrect, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text (e.g., 'in this machine has limestone filler'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of relative clauses and passive voice, which are essential for describing processes accurately.

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