Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram illustrates how sugar is made from sugar cane.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that this process is a man-made process. The process of making sugar has seven steps ,which start with harvesting sugar cane and end with delivering from shops for selling purpose. It is a complicated process.
Initially, the sugarcane is grown for 12 to 18 months until it reaches maturity. Once fully grown, it is a ready for harvesting. Then, sugarcane is harvested either manually or by machine. After which, it is transferred to the factory. After that, sugarcane is crushed by crushing machine and is converted in juice form. Before evaporator of juice sugarcane juice is purified by limestone filters.
In the next stage, sugarcane is heated and juice is become syrup. After heating, sugar syrup is gone for centrifuge. There, sugar crystal is separated from syrup. In the last stage. sugar is left for drying and cooling and it is ready for selling.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main stages of the sugar production process, from harvesting to the final product. However, the overview is somewhat weak; stating that it is a 'man-made process' is obvious and does not highlight the key features of the process itself. While the main steps are identified, the description lacks detail in terms of the transition between stages. For example, the explanation of the centrifuge and the final drying stage is quite brief. To improve, ensure that the overview synthesizes the process more effectively by mentioning the transformation from raw material to refined product, and provide more descriptive detail for each stage.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the process. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Then', 'After which', and 'In the next stage'. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. For instance, the sentence 'Before evaporator of juice sugarcane juice is purified by limestone filters' lacks a smooth connection to the previous sentence. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between steps would enhance the overall flow and coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the process. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'delivering from shops for selling purpose' and 'juice is become syrup'. These errors indicate a limited range of vocabulary and some issues with collocation. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'refined', 'extracted', or 'subsequent', and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'sugarcane' and 'juice' in every sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'is a ready for harvesting' (article/adjective error), 'converted in juice form' (preposition error), and 'sugar syrup is gone for centrifuge' (passive voice misuse). Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as the space before the comma in 'steps ,which' and the period in 'last stage. sugar'. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for basic punctuation errors will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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