Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

this diagram shows the process of making a sugar from sugarcane.The diagram tell us that how sugar can make.it tell us whole process of making ang growing sugar.first sugar is growing for some months like 12 to 18 months sugar is growing and then when the time is over its cutting time is to be completed then the sugar cut using different machinery or it can cut manually when the sugar cuts then its a time for a crushing its juice is fully seperated from one place and then its a time for filtering purifying the next step is evaporation for making it in a pure form and then its juice seperate it for drying and cooling this is basically a simple and pure formula of making and preparing a sugar.and when the sugar is completely ready then it is send for manufacturing and it is used in different purposes so we use a sugar ehich is basically fully pure and preapared with full of effort,hardwork.and we use sugar for making and enjoying tea that is also very good for human health if we are not felling good we use to make a tea which is basically made up of sugar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. Instead of providing an objective summary of the manufacturing process, the response includes irrelevant personal opinions and subjective commentary, such as 'that is also very good for human health'. The description of the process is repetitive and lacks a clear overview or logical grouping of the stages. Key features of the diagram, such as the specific temperatures or the distinction between the crushing and purification phases, are not clearly highlighted. To improve, you must focus solely on describing the visual data provided, avoid personal anecdotes, and ensure you present a clear, concise summary of the main stages of the process.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks paragraphing, appearing as a single, dense block of text. There is no logical progression of ideas; the transition between the stages of the process is mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on 'and then' or 'it is'. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, making the text difficult to follow. The lack of sentence boundaries, such as the absence of capital letters at the start of sentences and the run-on nature of the writing, significantly disrupts the flow of information. To improve, you should organize your report into distinct paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the process steps.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic words like 'making', 'sugar', and 'process'. There is little attempt to use precise terminology related to industrial manufacturing (e.g., 'extraction', 'centrifugation', 'crystallization'). Furthermore, there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'seperated' (separated) and 'preapared' (prepared). The inclusion of informal, conversational language like 'not felling good' is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires a formal, objective tone. You need to expand your range of vocabulary to include technical terms relevant to the diagram and focus on accurate spelling and formal register.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There is a consistent lack of punctuation, with many sentences running into each other without periods or capital letters. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect, such as 'the diagram tell us' instead of 'tells us'. The sentence structures are basic and often fragmented. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, you must focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and pay close attention to punctuation, capitalization, and verb tense consistency throughout your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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